


A Fine Line Between Love and Hate

by TheLadyJ



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Falling In Love, Homophobic Language, Love/Hate, M/M, Student Steve, Teacher Tony, and the guy is an asshole, but not a lot, it doesn't last long, its just one word, small amount of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-09 02:07:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyJ/pseuds/TheLadyJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling in love is never easy. It can be stressful and sad but it can be freeing and happy. It can stab you in the chest and watch idly as the last of your blood is pumped onto the floor, making your body go cold and lifeless, or it can wrap you in a soft fluffy blanket and warm your every nerve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not all is what the seem, Tony

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally going to post this as a series of 3 one shots and I decided to break up. I have 4 chapters written already and more to come. 
> 
> I want to thank windeetree for beta and MrsTonyStark for helping me see the way in this story.

“Alright, yup, that was the bell. Pack up your shit; I’ll see you on Monday.” The class filed out slowly and Tony breathed a sigh of relief. He loved teaching, he really did, but the last class of the day was always the hardest for him. 

He couldn’t wait to get out of the classroom, this was true, but the last class of the day had Steve Rogers. Over the last four years, Steve Rogers had become the bane of Tony Stark’s existence. Steve Rogers was fucking perfect; the kind of guy, people should strive to be. Good for the sake of good, nice to everyone, he probably even helped little old ladies home with their groceries. Tony wasn’t sure about the last one, but it’s what he imagined Steve would do. The kid was the star of the football team, was popular, insanely handsome, though any time Tony’s thoughts wandered down that path, he would start to kick himself. 

Tony was young by teacher standards, only 25. He had graduated high school at 12, gotten a BS by 17 from MIT and turned around and had a Masters by 19, His PhD came at the age of 22. He had started teaching during the last year of his Ph.D. He had been 21 when he met Steve Rogers. 

He had watched the kid grow up from the tall and lean slightly awkward freshman to the Tall, built, still awkward, but popular football quarterback. In his first year teaching at Shield High, he hadn’t paid much attention to the skinny boy. But as the boy got older and gained popularity that seemed to correlate with his muscle mass, Tony couldn’t help but start to hate him.

Steve had never done anything to Tony per say, it was more that fact that he existed that bothered Tony. Steve represented everything that Tony never got or was.

The teachers’ lounge was full and loud with it being the end of the day. Tony landed in a seat at the table at the back. There were only a few faculty Tony gave a damn about, being younger than 75 percent of the teaching staff and smarter that 99 percent, he had found it taxing to get along with most of them. Still, he did make a few friends. Natasha Romanoff, the short red head, had her feet on the table, her shoes were on the floor and her husband Bruce (who Tony adored because they were science bro’s) was painting her toenails a fiery red. Natasha was a scary woman, one Tony didn’t dare cross. She was the Russian teacher and it gave him great pleasure to watch her put her slacker students in their place. Natasha’s anger was a thing of beauty, deadly and calm like the sea just before a storm. She was someone that would sneak up on you and before you knew it, your balls would be in your hands and you’re left wondering how it happened, but you can’t ask because she’s gone. 

Her dear sweet husband on the other hand, now that guy had anger issues. Tony had never been on the receiving end of Dr. Banner hulking out as his students had referred to it, but he had seen it. Natasha was the only one that could calm him down when he go in one of his moods. He was very good at keeping the anger in check but working in a high school wasn’t exactly a stress free environment. 

Clint Barton and Thor Odinson were the only other people at the table. Thor and Clint both taught gym, which to Tony was useless, but whatever. Thor was also the football coach, which meant Tony frequently had to listen to him prattle on about how great Steve fucking Rogers was. 

Tony knew the hatred he felt for the boy was irrational, but he couldn’t help it. Steve had everything. He was smart, which irritated Tony on so many levels. It would be so easy to justify his dislike if he had been a dumb jock. But Steve’s grasp on the mechanics of engineering and physics, made it impossible. Tony hated to admit it, but Steve had continually impressed him with his knowledge and his ability to understand complex and abstract concepts. 

So Tony hated Steve, because Steve was smart, had lots of friends, was the quarterback of the football team and was fucking nice to everyone. Steve represented something Tony had longed for when he was growing up. 

“Hey, Tony.” Thor said, looking up from the playbook that sat in front of him. “Are you going to the game tonight?” Tony gave him a funny look.

“Why would I do that?” Everyone knew Tony never went to the games. He didn’t give a damn about sports. 

“Its homecoming!” Natasha said flexing her toes. 

“We play Dark Castle tonight, its only the most anticipated game of the year Tony. Everyone will be there.” Clint rolled his eyes, as if Tony should know all of that and actually care. 

“Oh...Well in that case, no I won’t be there.” Clint huffed and the rest of the group rolled their eyes. They had all known Tony since he started working at Shield, they should know not to ask such stupid questions. Tony never, not once went to a single football game. Opting instead to sit in his workshop most nights and work on his advanced AI thesis. But He had finished that thesis a few years ago so instead he stayed in his workshop, fixing cars, talking to Jarvis (his advanced AI) and watching the game on mute on TV. He never told his friends that last part and it did not have anything to do with a tall blond in skintight spandex bending over to spike a ball or whatever the fuck it was he did... Nope, that had nothing to do with it.

Tonight though, he was flying back to New York. He had some board of director’s bullshit to deal with and while Pepper was CEO, Tony being a Stark had to put in appearances with the Stark Industries board.

Grabbing up his bags, and the few stacks of paper he had carried in, he took his leave from his friends. He had shit to pack; he had wasted too much time being social. 

The problem with being in a hurry was that Tony often overlooked things, like where he was walking, or whom he was walking into, until it was too late. That was how he suddenly found himself face down on the concrete, his papers scattered and a hand being offered to him. Without thinking, he took the hand offered and allowed himself to be pulled up. 

“Sorry Mr. Stark. I didn’t see you.” Steve Rogers said, swooping to pick up the papers they had both dropped. 

“No, it’s ok. Nothing like being sacked in a parking lot by the high school quarterback.” Tony said irritation evident in his voice. “I’d say, no skin off my nose, but I’m pretty sure I’m bleeding.” Steve looked up from the mess of papers at Tony’s glib confession.

“Oh my goodness, you are bleeding. I’m so sorry Mr. Stark.” Steve had grabbed hold of Tony’s chin and tilted his face to the side slightly. Tony’s right cheek stung, he didn’t know what it looked like but he could hazard a guess that it looked a lot like road rash. Steve’s hand held Tony’s face firm and the other hand trailed feather light touches over the hurt cheek. Tony hissed at the contact. 

“Hands off Rogers,” Tony said as he jerked out of the grip. His voice was a little more breathy and a lot less harsh than he would have liked but he decided he’d chock it up to the knock on the head and NOT the way his face tingled where Steve’s hands had been. 

“I’m really sorry Mr. Stark,” Steve said, holding out the pile of papers Tony had dropped.  
“You’ve said that three times Rogers, give it a rest.” His tone was back to harsh, it was a tone reserved only for Steve Rogers.

“Yeah well, you haven’t accepted the apology so...” Steve trailed off. Tony rolled his eyes; Tony didn’t want to accept an apology from him. He was perfectly fine stewing about how Steve Rogers had knocked him to the ground and all that jazz. Sad thing was, Steve was looking at him with the wide, beautiful, innocent blue eyes and Tony found himself accepting the apology and the packet of papers even though he made it a point not to be handed things. Goddamn Steve Rogers and his perfect perfectness, Tony thought as he threw the papers into his car and got in. Without saying anything else to Steve, he drove off. 

The drive home was filled with ear bleedingly loud music, Highway to Hell filtered from his speakers, the guitar riffs thrumming through his body as the bass beat his nerves down. He was calm and relaxed when he arrived home but his face still stung and tingled. 

It didn’t take him long to pack and then the car to take him to the airport was there. The trip from Boston to New York was short and the catnap he got on the plan was not enough to wash Steve Rogers from his mind. He was trying so hard to hang on to the hate but he could feel the desire of the boys touch begin to wipe it away. He needed to keep his desires in check, keep the mask of hate in place and maybe he would make it out of this year alive.

The weekend went pretty fast. Tony dealt with the shareholders just like Pepper wanted and then he was left in silence. Tony liked Pepper well enough but she was like a mom to him. Her and Obie had been more like his Parents than his actual parents had. He was happy to see her and Obie when he was in New York, but he liked living by himself, away from the company and away from all the scrutiny. 

The flight back was simple and quiet and he sat grading the stack of papers he had taken with him. The ones that were all out of order and slightly dirty because of his run in with Steve. Normally he kept things in a neat orderly fashion, everything was in alphabetical order so that grading was easier, but because of the way everything had been stuff together, Tony was moving slower. He should have had everything graded before the plane landed but his luck wasn’t with him. Instead, he had finished at his desk, in his workshop, his AI recording the grades for him. 

The last piece of paper in his pile, however, was not his. It wasn’t homework at all, it was a picture. A beautiful hand drawn picture of a man, a man that looked vaguely familiar. He was tall and skinny, blond hair parted to the side, wearing an army dress uniform with the left breast decorated with medals. A small caption underneath im what could only be Steve Rogers handwriting, said, “Rest in peace dad. We miss you.” The picture and the sentiment behind it tugged at Tony. In that single picture, everything Tony thought he knew about Steve and Steve’s life, changed.


	2. Learning New Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony realizing how little he knew about the boy he thought he hated, is causing him to freak out a bit. It doesn't help that Steve has been absent for a few days and Tony is starting to worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I knew if people liked this story, but oh well. I like it and I'm still going to post it.

Monday dawned and Tony packed his stuff, taking care to keep Steve’s picture safe. He did not want to have to explain why it was ruined, not that he actually cared about a stupid picture...yeah who was he kidding, he fucking cared. But he never got to give the picture back. Steve never showed up to school, odd but not out of the ordinary. Kids got sick, it happened. Tuesday and Wednesday were the same, none of the facility told him anything, not that they would if they had known anything, it was widely known that Tony couldn’t stand Steve. Thursday was marked again by Steve’s absence and Tony started to get worried. It wasn’t like Steve to miss a full week of school, ever, but especially not with football season going on. Friday came and Steve was still absent. Tony’s worry was pushed into overdrive. He was having a hard time concentrating, for someone that supposedly hated the boy, he was thinking about him way too much but he couldn’t stop. Steve wouldn’t be allowed to play in the game that night and that meant something was wrong. Steve never missed a game. Tony had seen that kid on his deathbed but still drag himself to school on game days and he hadn’t been quarterback back then.

When the day ended, Tony didn’t even bother dismissing his last class. He was up and out of his seat before the bell rang, the door shutting behind him just as the clang rang out.

The teachers’ lounge was empty and Tony had to wait. He was antsy, though he really didn’t understand why. What did he care if the one student he was trying desperately not to like was absent, it happened all the time. Except it didn’t! Not where Steve Rogers was concerned. An entire week out of school was unheard of for him and Tony didn’t like it. He hated when things messed with the status quo and with Rogers out, and a week’s worth of homework stacking up, the kid would need some tutoring soon. That idea freaked Tony out even more because other than Bruce, he was the only other person in the school that could tutor him. That meant extra hours with Steve fucking Rogers. Tony wanted to pull his hair out. He couldn’t fucking catch a break. He wanted to make sure Steve was ok, but that didn’t jive with his “I fucking hate your fucking face” attitude he had spent so many years building up. With one run in with Steve, it was all starting to crumble away. It had been a week since he had last seen Steve but Tony could still feel his hands, the way they held his jaw firm but not painfully so, the way fingertips ghosted over broken skin, raw and painful yet the feeling of Steve’s touch had wiped the pain away. Tony’s cheek and jaw still tingled at the idea of Steve’s touch. Hands so soft and delicate you would have never known he was a quarterback.

“Tony!” Thor’s voice boomed through the staff room, and made Tony jump. Natasha laughed.

“Jumpy today Stark?” She asked as she took her seat.

“No!” Tony said, slightly defensive. “Just wasn’t expecting a sneak attack.”

“HA!” Tony glared at Clint.

“We didn’t sneak up on you Tony. What’s going on in that head of yours? You have the “Dingo ate my baby,” crazy look in your eyes.” Bruce said, eyeing Tony wirily. Tony hated how that guy could get in his head with just a look.

“What? Oh...no...nothing. Just...confused is all. I have something to give that kid Rogers and I haven’t seen him in what...a week?”

“Are you worried about Steven?” Thor asked and Tony felt all eyes on him.

“No!” Tony scoffed, “I just hate holding onto things for long periods of time without a good reason. If Rogers has decided that he’s going to blow off his senior year it’s no skin of my nose.” That was perhaps the wrong phrase for him to say because it instantly transported him back to the parking lot. Shaking his head, his rambling continued without missing a beat, “I mean really, if he’s not going to show up, it makes my life easier, it just means I don’t have to suffer through looking at his stupid face in my class every day. Means my last class of the day will...”

“TONY!” Natasha shouted and Tony stopped his rambling to look up at the scary woman.

“Sorry, what?” He really needed to go home, take some tech apart and calm his damn nerves.

“Steve’s mom died Friday night.” Tony’s eyes went wide and he could feel his legs going weak. Steve’s dad was dead, he knew that based off the picture he had and now his mom was gone too?

“How?” Was all Tony could manage without everything falling apart right in front his friends. He was starting to crack, could feel the polished mask of hatred crumble and he needed to get out of there fast.  
“We don’t know, I guess she had been sick for awhile. No one has seen Steve since he left the game with an officer, last Friday.” Bruce was looking at him funny. Tony felt sick, Steve’s mom had been sick for a while, and he never knew. Steve never let on that anything was wrong at home. Even if he did, it wasn’t like Tony would have noticed. He had been too busy hating the kid for circumstances beyond a 17 year olds control. Tony was an asshole.

“Are you ok?” Natasha asked. Tony nodded, turning on his heels he dashed out of the lounge as fast as he could without alerting his friends to his major freak-out. Though he didn’t think he had done a very good job. He had practically run to his car.

Tony could relate to Steve if only a little bit. Steve had appeared to have a good relationship with his mom, from what Tony remembered and he clearly loved and missed his father. Tony felt confident in assessing that Steve had grown up with loving parents, something Tony had not been so lucky in. However, like Steve, Tony had lost both his parents when he was 17. He well remembered the pain that went along with that and the feeling of emptiness at being handed off to his godfather.

Before he realized it, he had hacked the schools system and gotten Steve’s address. He could show up with the excuse of giving the boy his missed homework, and offer at least a little support. Instead, he found himself sitting in his car a half a block down from Steve’s house just watching. There was a light on in the highest window, it put Tony in mind of an attic, but he saw no movement, no one left the house and none of the lights in any of the other windows flared to life. Tony sat there for what felt like a few hours watching over the house, debating whether or or not he should get out. He wanted so badly to say something to the boy.

Apologizing was not something Tony was accustomed to, but even billionaire geniuses had been known to eat a pile of crow every now and again, and Tony was definitely eating crow. Everything he had ever assumed about Steve Rogers had been false. This kid, from the other side of the tracks had not had an easier life than Tony had; he had just chosen to make what was given to him better. He had not let the hardships get him down or stop him from achieving what he wanted. Tony wasn’t going to allow him to start now either. It was dark before Tony had decided to get out of the car. He walked the half block, papers clutched tightly, jacket collar turned up against the sudden gust of wind the October night had provided. The clouds obscured the moon and blotted out the stars as he walked down the sidewalk.

Faster than he had wanted, Tony found himself knocking on the door of the Rogers’ house. He honestly was not expecting anyone to answer, after a few minutes of waiting, he turned to leave. The sound of the door opening stopped him and he turned around to look at the person who has answered.

Steve stood in the door, blue eyes rimmed in red, and cheeks blotchy and tear stained, his typically styled sleek blond hair stuck out at odd angles and had a slightly greasy look about it. Steve was normally a very well put together young man, but the man that stood before Tony, in a pair of baggy sweat pants no shirt and a blanket held none of Steve’s usual casual personality. The man that stood in front Tony was a broken man. He was no longer a boy; he was thrust into the cold truth of a harsh world, a world that was no longer on his side. Steve was alone in every sense of the word and he looked like he wasn’t faring very well.

“Mr. Stark?” Steve said, sounding as confused and broken as he looked.

“Yeah, sorry. I heard about what happened, you know current events, and me I kind of suck at them so...I’m really sorry to hear about your mom. Just ahh...Figured I’d stop by, give you your homework and offer my condolences. Not like you actually care about that. It’s not going to make you feel any better and really why would it? It’s not as if I can go back in time and change anything, believe me, I’ve tried. God stop me I’m rambling.” Tony quickly shut his mouth.

“Why? Why do you care?” Steve asked, closing his eyes against the pain that flooded his heart at having Tony Stark, his high school science teacher standing on his doorstep. Tony had been tormenting him since he had met Steve. He didn’t understand why the teacher put so much time and effort into making Steve’s life hell or why he derived such pleasure from seeing a student almost breakdown and cry.

There had been a few times where Steve had been close to tears and had had to remind himself that Tony Stark was a self-centered egotistical jerk and that Steve hated him. The problem was, Steve did not hate Tony at all. In the rare glimpses Steve got, when Tony wasn’t paying attention to him, he got to see the kind of heart the man had. Tony Stark was brash and crude but he would take the time out of his day and help a student that did not understand the science he taught and even the math that he didn’t teach. Tony cared about his students, but he didn’t care about Steve and that hurt. Because a small part of Steve hero-worshipped Tony for the way, he acted toward the other students, even if it wasn’t directed at him. A small almost hidden part of Steve might be willing to admit to a small amount of love and attraction for the man. Tony Stark was gorgeous, he was smart, and he was nice to everyone but Steve.

“I umm...I just...” Seeing Tony speechless was something Steve would have to preserve in his memories for all of eternity. Tony was normally so smooth and full of himself.

“I lost my parents when I was 17 too.” Tony said, deciding on the truth. “I may not know exactly how you feel, but I know some of it. The pain of knowing that you’re on your own, the sorrow of being handed off to a godparent that has probably not been around most of your life or the fear of being turned over to the state because you aren’t yet 18.”

Steve swallowed around the lump in his throat. He was not going to be turned over to the state thankfully because he did have the odd godparent he had never actually met.

“I still don’t understand why you care Mr. Stark. You hate me.” The words felt like ash in Steve’s mouth. He knew Tony hated him, but giving voice to it, saying it aloud, hurt more than he had expected it to. He never looked at Tony as he spoke; there was already too much pain in Steve’s life. He didn’t need his teacher making more.

Steve missed his mom, but he knew it had been coming. She had gotten sick after stabbing herself with a needle at the hospital she worked at. The hospital had paid a substantial amount of money to him for her death but it did not make life easier without her. It had only been a week and he had fallen apart. She would be so mad if she could see how he was behaving.

“I...I don’t hate you Steve. Pretty far from it actually.” Tony said, his head bowed. He was not going to explain everything, but he needed Steve to know that he didn’t hate him. “I hated the idea of you, but not you.” Steve was looking at him funny.

“The idea of me...” Steve said, and Tony noted the hint of confusion in his voice. Yeah, that really wasn’t that shocking. It was a really stupid reason to hate someone, but he might as well explain.

“Did you know I was 12 when i graduated from high school?” Steve nodded, he did know that actually. He may or may not have goggled his teacher.

“Well, I was only eight when I started, I was way too smart to be there but I needed the diploma before MIT would take me. My dad would not let me be home schooled. Said I needed socialization.” Tony shook his head and laughed darkly.

“Why...” Steve took a deep breath and opened the door wider, “why don’t you come in. Something tells me this isn’t a conversation to be had in a doorway on a cold night.”

Tony hesitated but only for a second before he is moving past Steve and into the warm house. “Wise beyond your years, Rogers.” Steve stopped short, just about to close the door.

“What did you just say?” Steve was frozen looking straight through the door.

“Ummm...” Tony wasn’t sure what he said or how it could have caused that kind of reaction.

“My mom used to say something like that to me. Anyway...” Steve shut the door, pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders and lead Tony through to the living room.

“Right, anyway,” Tony said, once he was seated on the couch. Steve sat down on a chair across from him. It was weird being in Steve’s house, seeing Steve disheveled and sad. The kid was always so well put together, his face bright with a permanent smile fixed on.

“Where to begin... God this is not something I talk about much. Guess I’ll just jump right in. My parents were not what you would call loving. I’m pretty sure they only had me because they needed someone to take over Stark Industries at some point. So as soon as they could, I was sent to boarding school.” Tony’s face was somber; he hated talking about his childhood.

“I was always getting into trouble because the classes just didn’t hold my attention. I was too smart, all that bullshit.” Tony waved away the excuse, it had not been the only reason he got in trouble, but the only one his parents were willing to accept. “Anyway, they pulled me out of that boarding school and put me in high school boarding school because that was the only place they could put me. I was still getting into trouble but for different reasons, the subjects still didn’t hold my attention but I had learned to sit still in the class and do the work assigned. I was too small to hold my own in high school and while I was smart, I was rather dumb too.” Steve snorted at that. He could believe that.

Tony smiled, Steve maybe in mourning but at least he could see the comedy in what Tony had said. The truth was, Tony was rather dumb in a lot of things. No one was willing to call him on his stupidity though and so he had learned that he could get away with it.

“Yes well...My smart mouth found the radar of the school jock and football captain.” Steve’s eyes went wide; he knew where this was going. He didn’t really need Tony to finish the story but he wasn’t about to interrupt him.

“So, long story short, because really going into the agonizing details, is something better left for a shrink that gets paid insane amounts of money and not a 17 year old boy talking to a teacher. I was bullied, heavily in high school. Hammer used to stuff me in lockers, yes, I was that small. He would steal my clothing during gym, talk about embarrassing. He would make me do his homework and all sorts of other things.”

“I really hate bullies,” Steve’s voice was quiet, Tony almost missed the words.

“When I began teaching at Shield I expected to see what I experience. I always assumed that what happened to me was normal. Then I met this boy, he was popular and good looking, and he treated everyone with respect and kindness. He didn’t bully people or let his status on the football team dictate who his friends would be or how he would treat the people that were beneath him on the popularity food chain. He threw my entire way of coping with what had happened to me, out the window. And it made me mad. I didn’t and don’t hate you Steve, I hate that you weren’t the jock at my high school. That I wasn’t lucky enough to have had someone as nice as you running the school.”

“Of all the reasons you could have said, that was not one I ever expected. I’m sorry you were bullied. I was bullied in middle school. I was scrawny and sickly and it did not endear me to the masses. It was not easy, but then...It got worse.”

“How?” Was all Tony asked, thinking about the picture Steve had drawn.

Steve took a deep breath, sharing time at the Rogers house had not been on his agenda for the day, but in for a penny in for a pound.

“When I was 13, I met a guy. I really liked him, thought he liked me too, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. After that, I started bulking up. I never wanted to be that vulnerable again.”

Tony looked up and met Steve’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” was all he could say. “I’m really sorry Steve. I was unfair to you and I shouldn’t have let my anger at what happened to me cloud my judgement of you.” Steve just shrugged what else could he say. He had pretty much just told his teacher his deepest darkest secrets and the teacher was still sitting there. He hadn’t told anyone about Harge and he hadn’t really intended to. But it was easy to talk to Tony for some reason.

“I don’t blame you Tony. You didn’t know any other way, I would imagine it was hard for you to see that not every high school stereotype comes true. No one here knows I’m gay, I didn’t want a repeat of what happen, even if I could hold my own now better than I could. My mom and I moved shortly after the incident, but not because of it.”

“You didn’t grow up here?” Tony relaxed into the couch, their conversation was deep and sad but he wasn’t feeling tense anymore. He and Steve actually had more in common than he had ever expected.

“Nope, I’m from Brooklyn originally. My dad passed away and my mom couldn’t afford where we lived. She took a job as a nurse here in Boston because it paid better and the cost of living was less.”

“No shit? I’m from Manhattan. I’m sorry about your dad by the way.” Tony said, holding out the papers still clutched in his hands. “This got mixed into my papers last week and I wanted to give it back to you, but you never showed up.” Steve took the paper, his eyes filling up with unshed tears. He had wondered what had happened to his drawing.

“I should be going now, it’s getting late.” Steve nodded and stood to walk his teacher to the door. “The rest of the papers are your make up assignments. I expect to see you in class on Monday Rogers.” Tony said, sounding firm but the smile on his face was kind.

“If you need help understanding the work, don’t hesitate to ask Steve. I’ll help in any way I can.” Tony meant it too. He had a lot of shit to make up to Steve for. The way he had treated the boy in front of him had been uncalled for. Tony hated bullies and yet he had become one himself. He was in a position of authority and had used that position to torment a boy that didn’t deserve it.

Steve closed the door as Tony walked away. He did not however, move away from the door, even after he could no longer see Tony through the peephole. His head was swimming with thoughts of the conversation he had had with his teacher. He had come out of the closet to the one person he had never intend to. To the one person he was actually attracted to and the one person who had always shown Steve so much contempt. But he had also learned so much about that man. Tony Stark bullied, was not something he had ever expected, it was a hard concept to grasp but he could believe that that mouth had gotten him into a fair bit of trouble. Tony hardly ever thought about what he was saying before he let it fly from his mouth.

Steve’s heart felt light, even with the weight of his mother’s death on his shoulder. He would make it through life without her. Plenty of people did. He would not dwell on what was or could have been; instead, he would look at the world in terms of what will be. He would not suffer her loss, not anymore. He was stronger than that. He overcame his physical limitations and he so would overcome this as well. It would take a while, he was sure but he knew his mom and dad were together again, wherever they were, and he would see them again.


	3. Making New Friends

Monday came faster than Steve would have liked but he couldn’t stop time so he followed the rules of it instead.

School was not a place he wanted to be but he knew he needed it anyway. He was a senior and he couldn’t afford to slack off. He needed good grades and a football scholarship if he had a hope of going to college. He had applied at NYU and was really hoping life would smile upon him.

“Rogers!” Summer’s voice rang through the hall making Steve groan. He couldn’t stand Scott, he was a tool and no amount of niceties would change that. “Where in blazes have you been?” Scott asked, as if taking a week off from school after his mom died was illogical. “Logan had to be quarterback Friday, we still won but it’s the principle of the matter.” Steve rolled his eyes; Scott and Logan hated each other and had no problems making their hatred known. They were both after the same girl and that had been enough to break up what had been a very long friendship. Steve thought both men were stupid, Jean Grey was a bitch and treated everyone like shit. The countless times Steve had told Logan to go for someone else...Steve shook his head.

“I’m back now Summers, Logan won’t get to play QB anymore.” Steve said shutting his locker and walking away.

“Thank god.” He heard Scott say as he rounded the corner and ducked into his first period. Math with Dr. Banner, wasn’t one of his favorite subjects but he did alright. He liked art the best but he wasn’t able to take that class because it wasn’t a main player when getting into college. Instead, he was in advanced math and science, he took Russian, English lit and physical education. He was behind in all of his classes now and he would have to work really hard to get back to where he was. He was not looking forward to that.

He had stayed up most of the weekend to work on the physics work Tony had dropped off but he had still only gotten through half of it before his brain and stopped working. His brain had stalled at particle theory and it had been unable to re-engage no matter how many times he read the theory. He would have to ask for help. The idea scared him, if he was being honest. Yes, Tony had said he would be willing to help but he was still on unsure ground with the temperamental teacher. It had only been a few days since his last encounter and it had been an odd one to say the least.

The math class went by relatively painless, he was given his makeup homework, and pretty much left alone. Everyone in the school knew what happened and they chose not to talk about it. He was thankful that. P.E. was mindless drills running back and forth, it was boring but it allowed Steve’s body a workout it badly needed. His break for lunch came after Russian, that was an easy class for Steve and Mrs. Romanoff was easy to work with. At least he wouldn’t have trouble catching up in her class.

Lunch was a time of day Steve dreaded, he truly wanted nothing to do with the rest of the student body. He honestly hated all the kids on the school. They were so shallow and stupid and today, Steve didn’t feel like being nice. Instead, he turned around, and headed to the one place he never thought he would go.

Knocking on the door labeled Math and Science, Steve was met with a shocked and confused looking Dr. Banner.

“Mr. Rogers, what can I do for you?” Bruce asked, Steve rarely sought out teachers, but mostly because he never needed to. He had never had an issue in his classes before.

“I’m looking for Mr. Stark, He told me to come see him if I needed help on my make up work, when he dropped it off on Friday.” Bruce’s eyebrows disappeared into the floppy mop of salt and pepper hair on his head.

“Tony...Mr Stark said that?” Bruce asked, he knew better than anyone how Tony felt about the boy in front of him. Tony offering to help Steve catch up was beyond out of character and Bruce was worried that Tony was starting to see what had taken Bruce all of five minutes. If he was...Bruce didn’t want to think about that.

“He’s typically in his classroom during this time. He’s got planning this period. You could check there.”

“Thanks Dr. Banner,” Steve said running down the hall. He’d wasted too much time, he needed Tony to help him.

Tony’s classroom wasn’t all that far away from the math and science department so as he reached the door, Steve slowed to a walk, trying to catch his breath. He was worried about how the interaction with his teacher would go. The man had plagued his dreams in more ways than one for the better part of four years and Steve had cursed himself every day for not being able to ignore the way he reacted to the teacher.

There was no reason for Steve to feel the way he did. Had anyone else treated him the way Tony had, Steve would have knocked them out, but Tony was different. Steve clung to a kind of blind hope where his teacher was concerned, that one day the man wouldn’t hate him, wouldn’t treat him with such disdain. Friday had been the day he had waited so many years for, but he wasn’t sure if what had transpired on Friday night in his living room, would transcribe to his school life. Steve knocked on the door and held his breath. He could see the shorter man sitting at his desk, a cup of coffee in one hand and talking animatedly with the other hand, to no one.

The sound of the knock at the door startled Tony and he spun around mid sentence, forgetting about the cup of coffee in his hand and spilling it all over himself and his desk. He was about to kill the person at the door, until he looked up and noticed who it was. Steve gave a small wave and Tony had to fight down a smile. He had offered to help Steve with anything, but he had never expected Steve to take him up on the offer. Cursing under his breath about his spilled coffee, he waved Steve in and went to his small closet to change his shirt.

“Sorry to bother you Mr. Stark, but you said, you’d help me if I needed it, and I need it.” Tony simply nodded and pulled his shirt off, not paying attention to the fact that he had a student in his classroom. Behind him, Steve’s movements stilled and Tony peered through the shirt that was halfway over his head. Steve’s eyes traveled the length of Tony’s body and he licked his lips as his eyes paused on the exposed flesh. Tony shivered slightly under the scrutiny.

“See something you like?” Tony asked pulling the shirt all the way down his torso and fixing his messed up hair. Steve cleared his throat and went to sit down at the desk nearest Tony’s.

“I got halfway through the packet you gave me on Friday, but I’m having some issues with the more advanced theories.” Steve said taking a seat and ignoring the coil of desire that had settled in his belly.

“Oh no problem, pull out the packet, we can work on it till the bell rings.” Steve sighed; glad Tony hadn’t pushed the uncomfortable topic of him without a shirt. Steve wasn’t sure he was ready to deal with the desired he had for the man. He was a student after all, it was hardly appropriate to be feeling like that about a teacher.

 

The half hour passed relatively easy, as far as the science went, but Steve was so keyed up by the end that he longed for a dark hole to crawl into. He still had two classes left and one of them was Tony’s. Maybe it had been better for him when Tony had hated him. Tony leaned over Steve has he wrote out a complex theory about the property of particles and how they worked with each other at different intervals, revolving around one another, each playing off each other at a different speed depending on what the particle was used for. The feel of Tony’s chest softly pressed against Steve’s back made goosebumps erupt on his arms. He was glad he was wearing a long sleeve shirt. Sighing, Steve packed his bag as the bell rang and left.

“Thanks for the help, Mr. Stark.” Steve said shutting the door behind him, not bothering to see if there was a reply. Steve’s day had not gone the way he had wanted. He had thought life would be easier if Tony had stopped being so mean to him, but he had found the opposite to be true.

 

He hardly paid attention in English, Mr. Coulson was going over some boring ass book, but it didn’t really matter, Steve was too busy remembering how Tony had felt, pressed against him. He had Googled Tony a few years ago and learned a lot about his teacher, he knew his teacher wasn’t exactly straight nor was he any stranger to random bed partners, but Steve couldn’t help but wonder if Tony had been mildly flirting with him while he helped Steve. It didn’t really matter, even if he was, because Steve was a student and Tony could get in much more trouble than just losing his job, if either of them actually acted on feelings. Despite that knowledge, Steve hoped Tony had. He would be 18 in a few months and off to college. Then maybe he could pursue his teacher without consequence.

Lost in thought Steve made it through both classes without really paying attention. He was almost out the door of Tony’s class you when Tony grabbed his arm.

“Rogers, I’ve been calling your name, it’s not polite to ignore your teacher.” Tony’s tone was one he was used to, the annoyed I hate you tone he had gotten so used to hearing over the course of his high school career. Steve winced at hearing the tone but Tony’s grip on his arm was soft and he squeezed it reassuringly, a small smile on his face.

“Sorry sir, I didn’t hear you,” Steve said. Hanging back from the crowd.

“Yes, well as high up in the clouds as you head is, that’s not exactly surprising.” Tony said, walking back to his desk and gathering his things. “Want to explain to me what’s got you all dazed and confused? You’re usually so attentive in my class. Annoyingly so, really.”

Steve shuffled from foot to foot not really sure what to say. It wasn’t exactly like he could tell Tony what was making his space out.

“Just tired, I guess. I stayed up pretty late this weekend working on that packet.”

“Well, that wasn’t necessary; I told you I would help you. You didn’t need to lose sleep over it.” Steve just shrugged; he didn’t really know how to respond. “Hey,” Tony said, holding the door open beckoning Steve to walk through it. “You have football practice now right?” Steve nodded, following Tony down the hall towards the locker room. “Good, I’ll walk you. Need to talk to Thor about something.”

“So, who’s taking care of you now that you’re on your own?” Tony asked. It wasn’t an easy question to ask, but he needed to know, if only to satisfy his own curiosity.

“My aunt Peggy is coming down from New York to sign the emancipation papers this Friday. The house is paid off and my mom’s lawsuit and life insurance left me with enough money to at least live for the next few years, I’m making do.” Tony nodded as Steve held the locker room door open for him.

“Well, it’s not easy being on your own at 17, trust me, I know. If you need anything, you can call me.” Tony handed him a small piece of paper with a phone number on it and walked away. Steve just stared at it.

“Rogers! Hey Rogers is back!” Steve looked up to find the whole of the locker room looking at him. He stuffed the paper into his pocket, waved at the team and went to get dressed down.


	4. It's a Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is finally in the mind to act on his feelings....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was were I had originally planned on ending the story. It was supposed to be a series of 3 one shots that ended up getting broken up into chapters instead. The second part of this story isn't finished yet but I have up to chapter 7 done as of right now. The updates will be slower as I wont update till I finish the next chapter, but I hope anyone that is reading the story is enjoying it. The rating will also be changing in later chapters.

If you need anything, you can call me. The words stayed with Steve even as he settled into a new school routine. He had found, after the tragedy that he had no desire to be around his friends. He never went to the cafeteria to eat lunch anymore; instead, he spent time in Tony’s classroom, working on his homework or just drawing. It was peaceful, and calm. Steve enjoyed being around Tony. The man was strange; there was no question about it. He spent long periods of time in total silence and other talking to himself, his fingers flying through the air as if typing on an invisible keyboard. Steve supposed it actually was not out of the realm of possibilities know Tony.

But the one consistent thing was that Tony was always willing to allow him into his classroom during lunches. He never told Steve to go away, that he was too busy. Steve had seen Tony do it to a few other students a few times but he had never done it to Steve no matter how busy he really looked. Steve also never bothered him unless there was a spot on one of his assignments he couldn't get passed. Mostly, though, they were quiet. They would talk about random things when something would spark a topic. Steve’s lack of a dating life was a topic that had gotten started after Tony’s ex had called him freaking out in the middle of the lunch period. Steve hadn’t caught her name, but her anger was something he could feel from the other side of the room. Tony had sat, frozen in his seat, phone an arm’s length away from his head as the woman on the other end had shouted herself silent. Steve didn’t understand what she was yelling about but from the other side of the classroom he could tell she was pissed.

Her call had sparked an ex’s are the worst conversation to which Steve had said he wouldn't’ know. He hadn’t dated anyone, ever. It was hard to keep your sexuality a secret if you were dating people. Sex and dating did not necessarily go hand in hand for Steve at the time. He had had a few partners and knew his way around the bedroom, not that he offered that information to his teacher.

“Why do you want to keep your sexuality a secret Steve? Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. I’m not saying drape a rainbow flag around your shoulders and paraded through town naked shouting that you’re gay, though I have to admit, that would be a sight to see.” Tony chuckled to himself and got a faraway look in his eyes.

“I’m not ashamed of who I am, I’m just not interested in telling everyone. The people that matter to me know, and that’s about it. I’m not worried about how people will react, I could honestly not care less about what people think, but I haven’t met anyone that I want to show off and announce to the world that I’m the luckiest guy in the world because so n so loves me.” Steve ducked his head and continued drawing, his work for the day, yet again consisted of Tony Stark sitting at his desk, in one of his typical strange poses.

It was Friday and the very last day of the football season. Steve was finally hanging up that chapter of his life and he was happy to see it go. He enjoyed football but he liked other things like art, better. The end of football meant the end of his reason for hanging out with his “friends” He liked Logan well enough and Remy was admittedly his favorite on the team, but that was pretty much it. He had been accepted to NYC where he would play football of course, but he would finally be able to hang out with Bucky and his girl Sharon again.

The last game of the year and Steve didn’t give a damn about it as he stood on the field, waiting for the game to start. He didn’t have anyone in the stand cheering him on per say, but the field was packed.

Tony sat in the stands, head covered by a cap, scarf around his neck and a jacket pulled tight against him. No one paid him any attention and that was fine with him. It was the first and last game he would ever be at, but he wanted to be there, even if Steve didn’t know it, he was supporting him. A silent spectator to a sport he didn’t really understand or care about, if only for the boy he had started to fall for.

Steve’s team huddled around him as he called out the plays. It didn’t take long for them to score, shield high was the top ranked team in the region for high school. The game was mindlessly easy to win and it had bored Steve. The after party however had been what he was looking forward to.

It was the first thing he had looked forward to since his mother died, where school was concerned anyway. Mindless fun and alcohol, best way to be taken out of yourself. And it didn’t take long before he was as mindless as the rest of them. Steve didn’t drink much, so when he did, it didn't take a lot to get him tipsy.

He headed into the kitchen following Logan who asked if he wanted another beer. “Better crack out two for me.” Steve had already had a few or eight shots of vodka, what was a few beers among friends.

Logan shook his head. “I’ve never seen you drink so much.”

“Get used to it, buddy.”

Not that he was trying to be a dick to his friend, but drinking made Steve a jerk most often, especially around others. It was probably because he became more defensive when he was drunk, which was weird considering alcohol was supposed to have the opposite effect, wasn’t it? Oh well, he wasn’t going to change himself for anyone.

Logan tossed his friend a beer and opened the one he grabbed for himself and popped the top, freezing when he saw Scott and Jean making out near the stairs. He knew exactly where they were going, and it pissed him the fuck off. His blood ran cold in his veins and he gripped at the can in his hand. The contents squirted everywhere as he smashed the can to smithereens.

Steve turned his head to see what he already knew he’d be looking at. Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. “Come on, Logan. She’s not good enough for you. Just let it go.”

“Hey Jean?” Logan shouted, “Are you ever going to make an honest man out of Summers?” Steve groaned. He had had too much to drink to deal with Logan and Summer’s bullshit. Steve put a hand on Logan to stop him moving forward, but the brute just shrugged it off. Steve was a big guy, tall and well built, but Logan easily had 50 pounds and an inch or two in height on him. And in his inebriated state, he was really in no position to go to blows with Logan.

“What did you say Logan?” Scott said, rushing down the stairs. Before Steve could do anything, the two boys were squared up in front of each other, eyes blazing with anger. Logan’s fists were clenching and unclenching. Summers looked like he was trying to make himself look fiercer by puffing out his chest.

“HANK! REMY!” Steve shouted, alerting the other players to the predicament. The two boys dropped their cups and came to help break the fight apart.

“You heard me Summers, you little bitch.” Scott was the first to throw a punch and all hell broke loose. Before Hank or Remy could get ahold of their best friends, Steve was in the middle trying to push the boys apart. “Goddamn it Logan, knock it off!” Steve said, giving a forceful shove and sending the taller man to the floor. Hank had Scott in a headlock, not that he needed to, as soon as Logan was down, Scott stopped fighting. No one noticed Jean’s exit. Remy was picking Logan up off the floor.

“Why’d ya stop me Rogers?” Logan growled. Steve rolled his eyes.

“Because you can do better than a bitch like Jean.” Remy had let go of Logan at exactly the wrong moment and Steve felt a fist connect with his jaw.

“WHAT THE FUCK LOGAN!” Steve said cradling his jaw.

“Don’t you ever talk about Jean like that again.”

“Fuck you Logan. I’m out of here.”

“Where are you going to go Steve?” Remy asked, his Creole accent heavy with the alcohol he’d consumed. Logan was gone, probably licking his wounded prided. “Logan was your ride, and you have had too much to drink. I can’t let you leave if you’re getting behind a wheel.” Steve really like Remy, he was one of the few that he actually didn’t have to pretend to like.

“I got someone I can call,” Steve, said, as he dug out the well-worn piece of paper he had received from Tony. He may or may not have been playing with the piece of paper for a while. He had the number memorized and already programmed into his phone, but he held on to the little scrap of paper because it represented a possibility. One Steve should not ever give into, but one that Steve was having trouble remember why. Perhaps he had had too much to drink.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end of the line sounded strained, worn and tired. What time was it anyway?

“Mr. Stark?” Steve asked, his words slightly slurred, the swelling of his jaw mixed with alcohol was making it hard to talk. His mouth hurt. The sudden loss of adrenaline was allowing the alcohol effects to show through.

“Steve?” Tony’s voice perked up, all traces of tiredness gone.

“Yeah, look, sorry to call so late...I honestly have no idea what time it is,” Steve pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the screen. “Oh hey look at that 1:30 in the morning. Anyway, you said if I needed anything, to call and I kind of need a ride, but if you aren’t free or don’t think it's appropriate to be giving rides home to drunk students, I totally understand. I’ll just walk sorry to bother you.” Steve was rambling; it was uncharacteristic of him but in his alcohol induced state, not entirely surprising. Steve pulled the phone away from his face and made to hang up but his phone was shouting at him.

“Steve! Steve wait, don’t hang up.”

“Mr. Stark?” Steve asked.

“Where are you?”

“Scott Summers house.”

“Ok, meet me at the end of the block, I’ll be right there.” Steve didn’t ask how Tony would know where that was, that was a conversation better left for another day, or not at all.

An hour later and Steve was standing in Tony’s living room, having been whisked away from the party in a flashy red and gold convertible. If no one noticed that, it would be a miracle.

“I’ll get you an ice pack,” Tony said, dropping the keys on the coffee table and walking into the kitchen.

“Thanks.” Steve was amazed by Tony’s house, if you could even call it that. The gated mansion sat on the outskirts of town and was probably larger than Shield High. The inside was minimalistic in design, holding only the furniture one would need for that specific room. The living room was light blue and chrome and the couch was a soft cream color. It was simple and elegant, and probably cost more to decorate than his whole house.

“What happened to your face?” Tony asked from the kitchen.

“Got in the way of Logan and Summers.” Tony snorted.

“You really should just them beat it out. See which one of them actually walks away, and crown them king of Jean’s vagina.” Steve couldn’t help but laugh at Tony’s crassness. The fact was, Steve had often considered letting the two of them hash it out in a no holds bar kind of cage match, but he just couldn’t. Mostly because he feared what would happen if Summers came out on top.

“Can’t, I like Logan too much to see him lose to Summers.” Tony’s eyebrows knitted together as he remerged from the kitchen, a question on his lips but an answer already spoke from Steve stopped him.

“Not like that.” Steve rolled his eyes, “Logan is as straight as they come, poor Remy.”

Tony just nodded, placing the ice pack against Steve’s jaw and holding in place.. “So, who gave you the shiner?”

“Logan, I don’t much care for his non-girlfriend, and I told him as much. He didn’t like that.”

Tony let out a bark of laughter, “I bet not.” Tony was really close to Steve. His deep brown eyes boring holes into Steve’s blue. Steve could smell Tony’s cologne, no doubt left over from the school day; he could feel his body heat and remembered the way it felt when Tony was pressed against him, even in the most innocent of way.

“Yeah well...Oh well.” Steve said, his hand grabbed for the ice pack, pulling Tony’s hand and the ice away from his skin, Steve moved in closer. Their chests almost touching. He could feel Tony’s breath fanning out across his neck.

“Maybe I should...” Tony’s words were cut off by the feel of Steve’s lips on his. He wanted to pull back, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. There were so many reasons why kissing Steve was a bad idea, but Tony could not find even one at that moment.

Steve’s lips were soft and smooth against his, but he wanted more. Nibbling on Steve’s bottom lip, he silently requested entrance and was happy to receive it. Steve tasted like beer and it reminded Tony why they should not continue down the path they were on. He pulled back and stared at Steve. His pupils were so dilated that the black nearly swallowed the blue.

“We can’t do this,” Tony said moving away from Steve. The ice pack lay on the floor, forgotten.

“Yes, we can,” Steve’s voice was strong and sure, not a hint of shy student. Steve stalked closer, causing Tony to back up.

“Steve, you’re drunk,” Steve smiled, but it was not his normal smile, it was more predatory and it made Tony shiver.

“I’m not that drunk.” The growl in Steve’s voice did nothing to talk Tony down, if anything it set a shot of desire down his spine. He really wanted to make Steve sound like that more.

“I’m your teacher.” Tony pleaded, back hitting the wall.

“Not tonight, you’re not.” Steve’s hands lay flat against the wall on either side of Tony’s head. He leaned in and pressed his body against Tony’s, his erection pressing into Tony’s hip. “Tonight, it’s just Tony and Steve, two people that really, really want this.” Steve dropped his hand to rub over the bulge in Tony’s pants. Tony shut his eyes against the wave of desire that came over him. He felt the button on his jeans pop free and the zipper being pulled down, and before he could stop it, Steve had him firm in hand.

Tony’s resolve broke at the feeling of the blond jerking him free of his pants. Wrapping his hands around Steve’s neck, he pulled the taller man down for a searing kiss. He was done playing this game. He was done fighting his feelings. He knew it was wrong, knew he shouldn’t get involved with a 17 year old or one of his students, but Tony didn’t care. It had been four years in the making, Tony had fallen for a student and the consequences be damned.

“I need you!” He said against Steve’s lips. Knocking the hand way that held his cock, “All of you.” He pushed off the wall walking Steve to the bedroom door, pulling at the shirt he wore.

“Yeah,” Steve breathed out, breaking the kiss and allowing his shirt to pulled over his head. Tony’s pants fell to his ankles as he walked and he kicked them off along with his shoes. Steve removed Tony’s shirt before connecting their lips again. Steve’s pants felt to the floor in a fluid motion, he hadn’t noticed Tony undoing them. Toeing the shoes off, Steve kicked out and was free from his pants.

Clad in only their boxers Steve’s back hit the door to Tony’s room and had just enough time to right himself before Tony opened the door and they were falling through it. Steve stayed on the floor where he had landed while Tony slid down his body, pulling his underwear with him. Tony stood and slipped out of his boxers before pulling Steve back up and pushing him over to the bed.

Steve chuckled as he landed on the soft bed, “Our first time will be on the bed, not the floor,” Tony said, crawling up the length of Steve’s body.

“You sound like you have plans for us.” Steve said, the smile on his face could light up a room.

The sound of a cap opening echoed through the room. “Oh, I do.”

**

Steve woke in a soft warm bed and his body felt more relaxed than it had been in a long time. His head throbbed with the pain of his alcoholic exploits from the night before and his jaw really hurt, but his limbs were relaxed. The body wrapped around him, made him forget all about the pain and the slight churning of his stomach. Tony moved his head to look up into the eyes of the man he was cuddled with; Steve just smiled that blinding smile.

“So...Are we doing this then? Is this a thing?” Tony asked, unsure which answer he really wanted.

“Do you want it to be a thing?” Steve asked, “Because if you do...Then it’s a thing.” Tony sighed, he shouldn’t be that happy, but he was. Something inside his chest swelled a little.

“It’s a thing,” He said snuggling back into Steve.


	5. Secrets kept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of part 2 begins.

Ch5

Steve had stayed the whole weekend, they had just enjoyed being around each other. No one to bother them, no one to worry about Steve. Both Logan and Remy had called to make sure he was ok, because they had gone to his house and no one answered. He had played it off told them he was with a friend and they'd dropped it. He had also told Logan to go fuck himself after he had asked about Steve's jaw. That shit hurt and he was still pissed about it. Logan was an asshole for instigating the fight, but Steve was the idiot who had actually said out loud what he thought about Jean.

It hadn't been fun conversation to have with Logan but one the was needed. Steve wasn't going to be the one cleaning up that mess and he was done keeping Logan out of trouble. That job would fall to Remy if he were willing. And Steve knew he would be, because for some reason Remy loved Logan, even if Logan was too stupid to see it.

Steve decided it wasn't his place anymore. He had something with Tony now and he had to work on keeping that a secret. Time with people that weren't really his friends wasn't something he cared about.

"Hey Tony? How is this going to work?”

"What?" Tony asked, setting a plate of bacon eggs and toast down in front of Steve and tucking into his own.

"This...Us..." Tony shrugged mouth full of food.

“I’m not sure what kind of an answer to give. What exactly do you mean?”

“I mean, am I going to be sharing your bed with someone else? Are we mutually exclusive? What? I...I don’t have anyone else, haven’t for a while and even when I did, we weren’t actually together, it was just sex. I didn’t want anything more and he was too in love with someone else. I don’t have a problem with us being just sex, but...” Steve swallowed his words and looked down, choosing to focus on his plate and not on the man next to him. He actually really did have a problem with it being just sex. He didn’t think he could do the whole teacher student with benefits things. His heart was already too invested.

Tony cleared his throat and pushed his food away. “There is and there will remain to be, no one else.” He said firmly, reaching out to touch Steve’s cheek, hoping that the touch would cause the blond to look up.

The words warmed Steve’s heart as he looked up at Tony. “This is going to be really hard isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. We can’t talk about this and when we’re in class, we can’t act any different. This is going to be a long school year.”

“I can keep a secret.” Steve said simply. He’d been keeping his sexuality a secret for the better part of his life, he wasn’t about to start talking about his relationship with Tony.

“Good, now let’s do something fun. We can watch a movie or hell I don’t even know.” It was already late in the day, they had spent a good part of the morning sleeping and learning each other’s body.

That was how it started and Steve was happy. They watched a movie that day, just the first of many. Sunday Steve went home and prepared for class the next day. Steve wasn’t excited about keeping his feelings a secret. He was never one to be anything but himself. He had never wanted what happened with Harge to happen to him again, but he wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality. He had never wanted to tell people about his being gay, because he didn’t have anyone he felt worthy of announcing to the world. That was changing,

Steve wasn’t a blushing virgin, but he’d never been in an actual relationship. With him, it had just been sex and Steve had been ok with that. They had both been ok with it, but it had stopped early in the year because, he couldn’t live like that. They were still friends but Steve was done with casual sex, he wanted a relationship, he wanted love.

The school days were hard, Tony couldn’t and wouldn’t lie about that. Seeing Steve talk to that ass Summers and mess around with Logan and Remy, it turned Tony a little green with envy. He wanted to be able to sit next to Steve, talk to him, touch him, and kiss him whenever he wanted.

Due to the nature of their newfound relationship, they had decided that Steve spending lunch in Tony’s classroom was a bad idea. So instead, he found himself sitting at his desk staring at the chair Steve so often occupied. The knock at the door had Tony hopeful but his face fell when Bruce walked in.

“Oh that’s nice, that’s a real nice way to greet a friend.”

“Sorry Bruce thought you were someone else.” Bruce sighed, and scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah, that someone else is going to get you in trouble, if you don’t watch what you’re doing.” Tony rolled his eyes, trying hard not to let Bruce into his head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bruce eyed him with a scrutiny that made Tony feel like he was having his mind read.

“Yeah, I’ll just bet you don’t.” Bruce said, taking Steve’s normal seat.

“What can I do for you Bruce?” It had been a while since he had spent any time with his friends. It had been a month since he and Steve had started their relationship and he had spent every available minute trying to come up with different plans to get to Steve without the town knowing what was going on.

Tony didn’t really care if he lost his job, he was Tony fucking Stark! He didn’t need to work, he had more money than he knew what to do with, but Steve was 17 and he didn’t relish in the idea of going to jail for sleeping with a student.

“Thanksgiving is next week,” Tony groaned, he had been trying to ignore that holiday. It wasn’t like he really had anyone to spend it with. He could go to New York and be with Pepper and Obie, but he really didn’t want to, or he could go to Bruce and Natasha’s like he did every year.

“I know you aren’t going New York, so I was going to invite you over to our house like always...Unless, you have plans with someone else.” Tony perked up at the idea and Bruce groaned. Bruce knew what was happening between Tony and Steve, he may not know the extent of it, but he knew.

  
In all fairness to Tony and Steve, they weren’t obvious. Bruce just knew Tony better than anyone and had a way of knowing what was happening in the man's life. He didn’t care. Tony and Steve were good together, even if they were hiding it. Steve made Tony happy, that was easy to see. There was an ease about the genius that was normally absent. He had never seen Tony as relaxed and happy as he was. Steve was quiet and reserved like normal, but he smiled more and laughed more than he had in the months following his mother's passing. Bruce wasn’t about to rain on that. Tony was young and Steve was almost 18, so he would let it be. He’d feign ignorance when the shit hit the fan and be ready to help pick up the pieces. Theirs wasn’t the only relationship he was helping keep secret anyway.

  
“Anyway,” Bruce said getting up, “let me know before the end of the week. Natasha needs a list of guests so that we can plan the menu. And please for the love of science, be smart about this.”

“I’m a genius, smart is what I do.”

“Not when it involves a certain blond.” With that, Bruce was gone and Tony was left to consider his options. Steve would be alone for Thanksgiving, and it would probably be pretty hard on him considering everything. Tony had already decided, he just needed to talk to Steve.

His fourth period class was irritating, Logan and Summers were fighting the whole time and he didn’t have Steve or the other kid to break it up.

“Summers! Logan! I swear to God if you do not stop your fighting, I will personally go find Rogers and have him kick both of your asses, and then because you made me go get that asshat, I will kick your already beaten asses. Sit the fuck down and shut up.” To Tony’s pleasure, both boys took the threat at face value and sat down. Tony was happy for the silence but he was kind of hoping for the excuse to go find Steve.

Steve was antsy, he wanted out; sitting in Tony’s class was awful. Remy was yapping at him about the upcoming holiday and Steve was only half-paying attention. He wasn’t really looking forward to Thanksgiving. He had ignored Halloween and he intended to do the same with Thanksgiving. He would not be so lucky for Christmas, his aunt was making him fly back to Brooklyn to be with her, but that was a month away and Steve could pretend that away for now.

“Remy, shut up and pay attention!” Steve whispered. “You know Stark hates me, you’re going to get me in trouble.”

  
“But Steve, I want to know...”

  
“LeBeau! I would love to know what is so important that you would prefer talking to Rogers than pay attention in my class.”

  
“Nothing, Mr. Stark.” Steve sank into his chair, really wanting Tony to just ignore him or drop it but he knew Tony wouldn’t let it go.

“Oh no, clearly there is something on your mind, we will just wait until you and Rogers are finished with your conversation.” Tony crossed his arms, sat on the desk, and waited. Steve rolled his eye and his lips twitched but he stopped the smile and instead turned it into a frown. He loved that man, but to all his friends, they hated each other. Steve couldn’t wait for school to end, to wrap his arms around the man in front of him and feel his body pressed against his.

Tony stayed silent for a few more minutes before throwing a scathing look at Steve and Remy and then continued teaching his class as if he had not just helped interrupt it. When class was over, Tony watched Steve and Remy walk out. It took everything in him not follow. Instead, he went to the lounge where he was normally found after school.

Thor, Clint, Bruce and Natasha all sat at the table, talking over something, Bruce looked up as Tony sat down.

“Come on Thor, you can’t possibly be a Lakers fan still! Not after the season, they had last year. Celtics all the way man, where is your Boston pride?”

“I cannot and will not cheer on a team that cannot pronounce their own name. How has no one explained to that team that they say it wrong?” Clint gaped at Thor as if he were from another world.

“I am at a complete loss for words here. I cannot believe you just said that!” Thor looked unapologetic, while Clint just sat in his chair staring at the crazy man next to him.

“Sorry Clint,” Tony said absently digging through his bag, looking for some papers to grade while he sat at the table with his friend, “I’m going to have to agree with Thor on this one.” The table fell silent at Tony’s comment. It was common knowledge that Tony hated all sports and never took the time to talk about, let alone care about anything remotely related to sports.

Steve was a bad influence on him already. There had been a few times that Steve had been over and turned on a game. Tony, not wanting to make Steve turn it off or leave the boys side (yeah ok, Tony had been a little clingy), had actually sat down and watched the game. He also remembered very distinctly asking why the Celtics mispronounced their name.  
“What?” Tony said, perhaps a little more defensively than he should have. Bruce’s words still rang in his head.

“Did you just agree with Thor, on something sports related?” Clint asked, pointing a finger at Tony.

Tony rolled his eyes, “I do know some things about sports, not a lot I’ll give you that, but I know enough to know not to root for a team that can’t pronounce their own damn name.” Tony didn’t stick around much after that though, because the look Bruce was giving him told him none too plainly that he knew where Tony’s new found sports knowledge was coming from.

Pulling up to his house, he found Steve sitting on his front steps. They hadn’t had plans for that night so he wasn’t sure why he was there, not that it really mattered, Tony was just happy to see him.

Letting himself and Steve into the house, he turned around to ask Steve why he was there and found himself pressed against the door, Steve’s tongue down his throat and all thoughts vanished from his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out. I've been working really hard on getting the rest of the story fished. two more chapters to write and then the postings will be more frequent.


	6. Watch Out for Cranberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's first real holiday with out his mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to Thor that I wrote and named this chapter BEFORE IM3 came out. I had no way of knowing that the word cranberry would be so catchy for the iron man fandom.

“So, I’ve been thinking about this whole Logan Jean thing.” Remy said as Steve plopped down in the seat beside him in the cafeteria. 

Hank groaned and Piotr rolled his eyes, as they went back to the conversation they had been having before. Raven and Kitty were making them go somewhere after school and they were complaining loudly about their girlfriends. Sam simply stuffed his ear buds in his ears and went back to listening to whatever god-awful music he had on his playlist. 

“Remy, why do you do this to yourself?” Steve asked, taking a bite from his apple. “You know Logan is head over heels for that chick.” The topic of Logan and his stupid obsession with Jean Grey was a subject most people at Shield High were sick of. Logan and Scott fought at least once a day; you would never know they used to be friends. 

“Yeah, but maybe...” 

“No Remy just let it be. Logan will figure it out eventually and if he doesn’t, you’ll find someone else.” 

“You’re just as bad as me, Steve. Fucking mooning over Stark even though you know the bastard hates your guts.” 

“I don’t moon over Stark. The guy’s an asshole.” Steve said, ignoring the feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was Remy’s turn to roll his eyes. 

“So,” Hank said, not hearing the conversation the boys in front of him were having, “What’s everyone doing for Thanksgiving.” Steve looked down at his lap; he hated being reminded of the holidays.

“Nothing,” He said quietly, the pain of loss gripped at his heart. He had fallen so easily into a routine of forgetting and had been caught up in Tony and everything the man had to offer. There were times that he forgot just how truly alone he was. 

“You can come to my house!” Remy said, throwing an arm around Steve. Steve didn't move to remove Remy’s arm, though he really wanted to. 

“No thanks, Remy. I don’t relish in the idea of being remind of what I don’t have anymore.” Steve stood. “I have to go,” He said picking up his bag and walking away. 

Steve’s head was in a sad place and his feet took him down a path he knew by heart. Before he knew it, he was knocking on Tony’s classroom even though Russian was his next class. The worry on Tony’s face was clear and Steve didn’t understand why until the brunette reached up and wiped a tear away from his cheek. Steve hadn’t realized that he had been crying. When he finally did, he couldn’t stop it. He cried for the loss of his mom and the loss of his dad, he cried because he missed his best friend and because he had the man in front of him and couldn't tell anyone about him. 

“What happened?” Tony asked, confused by the state Steve was in. Tony wasn’t very good with emotions and he’d never seen Steve like this. He supposed, given everything that had happened in Steve's life in the recent past that a small break down during the holidays was expected. It didn't make it any easier to see though. 

“I miss my mom. I hate holidays and everyone keeps asking me what I’m doing for Thanksgiving and I just want to tell them all to fuck off, but I can’t, because that’s not the kind of person I am.” Steve’s tears had stopped and Tony was grateful. He liked that Steve came to him to talk, but Tony didn’t really know what to say. His parents and him didn’t have the kind of relationship that Steve had with his mom. When Tony’s parents died, it hurt, Tony was sad yeah but it didn’t cause him as much pain as Steve. He had been used to living on his own by then and had long since learned that his parents were simply financial backers and nothing more. 

"Well sure you can! Come on Steve say it with me...FUCK OFF! See, how hard is that?" Steve gave Tony a scathing look that didn't reach his eyes. The laugh also didn't match the look. The sound was a welcome one. 

“Hey, how about we do something for Thanksgiving.” Tony said, hoping that his idea wasn’t coming at a horrible time. He had meant to talk to Steve about the holiday the day Bruce had mentioned it but well...

“Yeah?” Steve asked, “You don’t strike me as the giving thanks kind of person.” Tony gave Steve a mock wounded look and it made Steve roll his eyes. 

“No but really, you come over, we can do the turkey day dinner thing, watch some sport that you like, I’m sure there’s one on. Some guys throwing a ball of some kind around in tight pants. I won’t even get jealous if you drool a bit.” Steve laughed again. Tony really liked that sound, much better than the sounds of sadness. Sadness, pain and sorrow belonged nowhere near Steve and Tony had somehow made it a mission of his to keep those feelings away. 

“Alright, we can do that. I promise not to drool over any guys in tight pants, unless you’re the one wearing them.” 

“Oh my god, you are such a sap Rogers. Now get out of here before I give you detention for bothering me.” Steve kissed Tony on the nose, making him wrinkle it in mock disgust. 

“Is that a promise?” Steve whispered in Tony’s ear, warm breath fanning out across his neck making Tony shiver. Before Tony could respond, the door to his classroom was pulled open and Steve was leaving. 

The rest of the week moved slowly for Steve. He hadn’t been able to see Tony the weekend before Thanksgiving because Remy and Logan had dragged him out to do some shopping. Steve really hadn’t wanted to go, but he needed to make an appearance so his friends would stage some sort of intervention on his behalf. 

He had hung back with Carol and Janet while his two friends went and wreaked havoc in stores they had no business being in. Janet was having issues with her boyfriend Pym and Steve listened dutifully and then went home and buried his head in his pillow and ignored every single fucking call the rest of the weekend. 

He and Tony had been a thing for a month, they hadn’t labeled themselves boyfriends and it annoyed Steve. Steve wanted to be able to discuss things with friends. Tony was his first real relationship, which given the way they had to keep everything secret, probably wasn’t the most healthy thing. But Tony made him happy and that wasn’t a feeling he had felt in a long time. Not since before his dad had passed. Bucky had helped make things better after that, teaching him to play football and helping him gain muscle but Bucky was, at NYU and Steve couldn’t exactly talk to him about what was going on. 

Bucky had been the first friend he had made after moving to Boston. They were neighbors and Buck was a year older so he could protect Steve. With Bucky’s help, though the summer before freshman year Steve had learned to play football and bulked up. The kids at Shield didn’t know him but he hadn’t needed to worry because being Bucky’s friend was an automatic in, that had had its benefits but it also came with some consequences. Steve had never really felt like he could be himself at Shield, always needing to keep up appearances, Steve hated being popular but he hated being lonely and picked on more, so he sacrificed a few things, like happiness. But Steve was happy with Tony and he wished he could tell people how happy he really was. 

Unfortunately, there was nothing to do for it so instead he moped around his friends, lucky that they took it for sadness at the loss of his mom and that was definitely there but it was because he couldn’t spend time with the one he wanted to whenever he wanted. He also wondered what his mom would think if she knew who he was with. She had listen to Steve whine about how unfair it was that his Mr. Stark treated him so badly. She used to tell him that Stark didn’t know what he was missing not knowing Steve for the person he was. 

Knocking on Tony’s door was something Steve hated doing, he had already tucked his car away in the side garage, and he knew no one else would be able to see him standing at the front door but it made him nervous. He could smell the turkey cooking and his tummy rumbled. He wasn’t sure what the day would hold but it would be better than sitting at home wallowing in his own self pity.

Tony opened the door, an absent-minded look in his eyes. His normally well-put together look was in shambles. The button up shirt was undone and stained with red, bits of whatever flecked Tony’s face and neck. The tie that hung around his neck was askew and the soft gray pants were rumpled. 

“What happened to you?” Steve asked, allowing Tony to drag him inside. Tony was gorgeous when he wasn’t put together. But Steve loved watching the man come undone more.

“Cranberry sauce blew up, I was about to go change.” Steve smiled, grabbed Tony’s tie and pulled him forward, pressing his lips to the smaller mans. He smiled as the man’s body melted into his. Tony tasted like cranberries and sugar. 

“I like this look,” Steve said against Tony’s mouth. Tony huffed. “Let’s get you changed though, you smell funny.” 

 

“I hate cranberries.” Tony grumbled as Steve pulled him down the hall by the tie. “This shirt is totally ruined.” Steve laughed. 

“Oh the shame,” Steve paused at the door of Tony’s bedroom. 

“Steve, do you have any idea how much this shirt cost.” Steve loved when Tony was frustrated or annoyed. He leaned down to nuzzle Tony’s neck. 

“I’m sure I don’t.” He said, flicking his tongue out to lick at a spot of cranberry sauce. “mmm, you taste good.” Tony shivered and pulled away slightly. 

“Don’t distract me; the turkey is going to be done in an hour.” Tony said opening the door behind Steve. 

“You’re so domestic. An hour is plenty of time.” Steve pulled Tony the rest of the way through the door and kicked it shut. 

**

A loud screeching sound woke Steve from his sleep and the smell of something burning hit his nose. “Tony!” Steve said pushing Tony to wake him. “Something's burning.” 

“Shit!” Tony shouted jumping out of bed and running down the hall naked. Steve had enough sense to but on some underwear on. When he entered the kitchen, Tony was yelling at his AI and pulling out the completely ruined turkey. The smell of burnt turkey hung in the air but the smoke had been filtered out but a ventilation system Tony had probably installed himself. Jarvis had turned the wailing of the smoke detector off. They had falling asleep and in that time, the turkey had burned. 

“Jarvis, goddamn it how could you let this happen!” Tony was shouting and Steve just shook his head. It was hardly the AI’s fault they had fallen asleep after having gotten so thoroughly distracted.

“My apologies sir, I wanted to warn you, but you put me on mute when Mr. Rogers arrived.” 

“Couldn’t you have turned the oven off?” Tony asked frustrated, Steve leaned on the door frame and watched as his lover freaked out over a turkey. 

“I do not have control of the oven sir, perhaps next time; you will pay attention for the both of us.” Steve laughed. Doubled over, tears leaking from his eyes, unable to catch his breath, laughed. The whole thing was so ridiculous and all Steve could do was laugh. 

“I fail to see what is so funny about this,” Tony said turning around to face Steve, hands placed firmly on his hips and Steve laughed even harder. 

“Oh my god! I am standing in my boyfriend’s kitchen watching him fight with his AI about whose fault it is that dinner is ruined and he’s naked.” Tony would have laughed, because he had to admit, the image was pretty comical but he his brain had grabbed one word and hung onto it for dear life. 

“Boyfriend?” Tony asked, stopping Steve from laughing. He wasn’t normally one to blush, but he hadn’t meant to let the word slip. He didn’t know what to say, the look on Tony’s face was unreadable to Steve and he was slightly panicked. 

“Uhhh...Yes?” Steve said, watching Tony stalk closer. Tony didn’t say anything until he was right next to Steve. 

“I like the sound of that.” Tony pushed up on his tiptoes and kissed Steve, erasing all of Steve’s worry away. Tony was more forceful in the kiss than Steve had expected and had to place his hands on Tony’s naked hips to keep himself from falling over. 

“So, do you want to order pizza because dinner is clearly ruined.” Tony asked placing the balls of his heels back on the ground. 

“Sure, but you should probably go put some clothes on.”

“Why? You like me naked.” Tony said pulling away from Steve and running a hand along his half-hard cock. Steve let out a soft moan at the feeling.

“I do,” Steve agreed, “But I’m hungry and while you are delicious, I want pizza.” Steve smacked Tony’s ass as he walked out of the kitchen and went to hang out on the couch. When Tony came back out in a pair of black sleep pants, he let Steve know pizza was on the way. The pizza would take forever because it was a holiday so they watch a football game. Well it was the background noise to Steve’s sketching and Tony’s tinkering with Jarvis’s interface, Tony wasn’t about let what happened to the turkey happen ever again. 

All in all Thanksgiving wasn’t so bad for Steve. He missed his mom and dad, but he had Tony to buffer the pain and that was ok for him.


	7. Hidden in The Shadows, Kiss Me at Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bumps in the road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its been a few weeks since I posted a chapter and I'm sorry. It took me longer then I was expecting to finish this story. That being said, the story is officially all written. The good news for you is that means regular updates! We are exactly half way through the story.
> 
> I really don't know what to say about this story. Writing it got much harder than I was anticipating. Thank god for Windeetree (my beta) and MrsTonyStark for working with me on the story. For fixing my shit and for talking me down when I was going crazy. Especially writing this chapter.
> 
> This chapter is kind of a game changer.

Steve lay on the bed, Tony draped across him, curling his fingers into the tiny bit of hair that darkened his lover’s chest. Two months into their relationship and Tony felt confident in saying that he was in love. Steve was everything someone looked for in a man. He was sweet, kind, and gentle when he needed to be, but he was firm, strong, and harsh when the situation called for it. Tony was like an atom, always bouncing around, no way of stopping, but Steve grounded him, gave him a direction and focused his energy. It was a strange feeling and one that Tony loved.

Their relationship was not an easy one by any means, Steve had a hard time dealing with the fact that they couldn’t be with each other in public and Tony did too. He really did. He had this great guy, that treated him with love, devotion and care and he wanted to whisk Steve off to parts of the world unknown. He wanted to stand at the top of the Eiffel Tower and shout to the world that Steven Grant Rogers was his and no one else’s. But it wasn’t allowed and it probably never would be. Steve was his student, and underage. Even when Steve turns 18, he will still be known as Tony’s student and scared him to think what the press would do with that bit of information. Famous or not, that’s a story the press would eat up, but being Tony Stark was a whole different ball game with the press. 

“I’m not ready to go.” Steve said rolling to the side to face Tony. It was getting late and Steve needed to be getting home, he was leaving for New York in the morning and he had to be at the airport before the sun rose. 

“You could stay. I could drive you to the airport.” Tony said into Steve’s chest, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. 

“You know we can’t risk it.” Steve said pulling away from Tony and sliding out of the bed. The air was warm but left gooseflesh on his arms where Tony’s weight had lay. Steve found his clothing with ease and was dressed before Tony dragged himself out of the bed. 

Outside the comfort of Tony’s house Steve shivered, the night air licked at his face and the promise of snow hung in the air, he just hoped it would wait until he was safely in New York with his aunt. Steve hated the cold, he had never been much a fan but growing up in Brooklyn and then Boston had given him enough reason to hate the chill winters and the frozen water that fell from the sky. 

**  
Both he and Steve were in New York and yet it felt like they were worlds away. He had been at a board meeting all day-- why they felt the need to work on December 23rd was beyond him. He was still in his suit, though the tie had been ditched when he got home and the jacket replaced by a soft warm blanket, draped over his shoulders. 

Tony sat outside on the balcony of Stark Tower, his home away from home, and watched as the snow fell. It was the middle of the night and the world around him was silent. The normally bustling city so tranquil and soft. Tony didn’t much care for the cold, but he loved how the world went silent when the snow fell. How the simplistic white could blot out everything, it touched. Hide things from the world until the warmth of spring shoed Jack Frost away. It was the only time of year that Tony both loved and hated all at the same time. 

His Christmas Spirit was non-existent and he had no desire to actually be in New York, sitting on the balcony of his high rise with a warm cup of coffee in his hand. He would much rather be back at his home in Boston, a handsome blond tucked into his side. The phone beside him rang bringing him out of his stoic thoughts and he smiled when the caller id showed Steve’s face.

“Hey sexy, why are you up so late?” Tony asked pressing the phone to his ear. 

“Just missing you wanted to see if you were awake.” Steve’s voice was smooth and soft in Tony’s ear and he smiled.

“I’m always awake.” 

“True,” Tony could hear the smile in Steve’s voice and sighed. He really wanted to see him, touch him and spend the holiday curled up around the man he loved.

“Now, let me in its cold.” 

“Let you...” 

“Stark Tower isn’t that hard to find, now let me in, I’m cold.” Tony was out of his seat --cup of coffee and fluffy blanket forgotten in the silence of the night-- and was in the elevator before he could hang up the phone. The ride down was not particularly slow but it felt like an eternity by the time he was opening the door to let Steve in.

“What are you doing here?” Tony asked pulling Steve in from the cold. The snow that speckled the blond hair melted sending icy water down his forehead, Tony watched the train the water created and Steve shivered. 

“I was visiting Bucky at NYU and decided I didn’t want to be there, I wanted to be here, with you more.” Tony knew Bucky from Shield high, knew that he and Steve were best friends. A spark of pride shot through him at Steve’s confession that he’d rather being with Tony then Bucky.

The bottom levels of Stark Tower were where people worked, so ravishing Steve wasn’t the best idea Tony ever had, but it was what he wanted to do, and Tony always did what he wanted. 

Tony pulled Steve close by the jacket and smashed their lips together, Steve melting into the smaller man the second their lips met. Tony was warm where Steve was cold from being outside so long. He used his hand to unzip and remove the jacket as Steve’s lips trailed a wet line of kisses down his jaw and neck, Steve’s hands planted firm on Tony’s hips. The jacket fell to the floor as Steve let go of Tony’s hips to unbutton his shirt, Tony grabbed a fist full of Steve’s shirt and pulled him back to the elevator, only letting go long enough to push the button.

The doors opened and the blond and the brunette stumbled in, Tony pulling Steve’s shirt off and dropping it to the floor. The buttons of Tony’s shirt went flying as Steve got frustrated, Tony could hear the little pieces of plastic hit the paneling as the lift started to move. The shirt fell to the floor in a crumpled heap at Tony’s feet. Steve dragged his hand down Tony’s side, fingers following the v his hips carved out, stopping at the button of the slacks Tony wore, a button flicked open and a zipper pulled down had him standing naked in the elevator, the expensive fabric pooled at his feet. Steve smirked as he slid his mouth down Tony’s chest, pausing to lick and nibble at one of his pert little nipples. 

“I love it when you go commando.” The elevator door opened and Steve stood, grabbing Tony’s hand and dragging him out and over to the couch. Steve pushed Tony and he felt to the couch sitting there watching as his boyfriend smirked at him. Steve’s eyes were black with lust, lips swollen and red. Tony let out a soft moan as he watched Steve pull from his back pocket a tiny bottle of lube, before unbuttoning his pants and slowly, teasingly slowly pulled both jeans and underwear down his long toned legs. Steve stood to his full height, body on display for the man on the couch. Tony moved his hand, intent on touching himself.

“Don’t.” Steve said, his voice commanding, a firm warning hung in that one word. Tony stopped his movement and watched as the blond slicked his fingers with lube and inserted a single digit into his opening. Tony was so turned on watching Steve open himself up that he nearly came just from the sight. A second digit and a third were added, the soft moans from Steve were causing Tony’s cock to leak, he wanted to feel Steve, to touch him.

“Steve!” Tony moaned and the boy moved closer, crawling onto Tony’s lap Steve straddled him. Tony gripped Steve’s cock and tugged once before his hand was slapped away. More lube was squirted into Steve’s palm slicking Tony’s cock as he was guided in. Steve slowly sank down until Tony was fully buried in him. The feeling was agonizing. Tony was doing everything in his power not to come. Steve stayed still for a few seconds before rising back up, causing Tony to pull out almost completely and slowly sank back down.

“Fuck Steve!” Tony groaned throwing his head back. Steve’s movements were slow and deliberate, drawing out all the pleasured moans and little whispered swear words Tony had to offer. 

Steve’s eyes stayed trained on the man that writhed and bucked underneath him, wanting to watch as the man he loved came undone because of him. Steve’s movements sped up as the tight coil in his belly tightened, sounds of skin on skin echoed in his ears. He could feel his own orgasm approaching and knew by the look on Tony’s face that he was close too. The coil snapped with a cry of ecstasy as Tony’s thrust hit its mark and Steve’s orgasm tore through him, white, hot strands of cum splashed Tony’s chest. Tony grunted as Steve clenched around him, biting his tongue his orgasm ceased his body, causing him to still for a moment. They both collapsed on the couch-breathing heavy. Steve smiling as Tony wrapped his arms around him. 

They didn’t stay on the couch long. It was late or early depending and they both stumbled into Tony’s bed after a quick shower. Steve was almost asleep; Tony snuggled into him when he felt Tony’s lips press a kiss to the palm of his hand. 

“I love you.” The small voice said. It was so quiet, Steve almost missed it, but he fell asleep before he could respond.

“Anthony Edward Stark!” A woman’s voice yelled waking Steve from a peaceful sleep. Tony was already jumping out of bed. 

“Shit! Shit! SHIT! Steve you have to hide. Its Pepper, she can’t know about you. Steve let himself get pushed into a large closet. As the door shut he heard the click of heels enter the room. 

“Tony goddamn it. Is it really so hard for you and your newest bed partner to pick up after yourselves? I am not your maid.” Pepper said. 

“Well, seeing as how you are in MY apartment, where the clothing falls, isn’t a concern of yours.”

“This was in the lobby.” The sound of rustling met Steve’s ear and he knew it was his coat. Thankfully it was nondescript. 

“Sorry about that. Must have gotten a little carried away.” Pepper sighed. 

“Why are you here Pepper? Shouldn't you be chasing after your grand rugrats with Obie?” Steve ignored the rest of the conversation. Being stuffed in a closet no matter the size,--and Tony’s was very large-- hurt. Steve slid down the length of wall and rested his head on his knees. This was why he had never stayed the night before. He had wanted to avoid the possibility of being found out, but he had thought it would be safer there. Why had he agreed to this, he didn’t know. He didn’t like feeling like a kept man, but that’s what he was. He was nothing more than a shadow, hidden away. When the light of the day was cast, he was there but as an afterthought, that no one paid attention to. Steve was always there lurking, but no one really knew, no one could know. So much was at stake for both of them. He had been foolish to think it could work. 

The door opened and Tony joined him on the floor. “Sorry,” was all he said. Steve nodded, he knew Tony was. Knew that Tony hated the hiding just as much as he did, but it didn’t change anything. 

Steve got to his feet, pulling Tony up with him. “I have to go; my aunt will wonder where I’ve gone.” 

Tony only nodded, “Your clothes are on the bed.” Steve didn’t waste time getting dressed, it may have been Christmas eve, but the subway would be packed with last minute shoppers.

He gave Tony a small kiss on the lips and stepped into the lift. “Wait,” Tony’s foot stopped the door from closing and Steve looked at him, one eyebrow cocked in confusion. “Can I see you again, before we both go back?” 

“I’ll be in Brooklyn till the second. Come find me when you want.” The elevator doors slid shut, causing the smile on Steve’s face to vanish. “I love you too.” He said to no one and leaned against the wall. 

**

Christmas with the Carters was boring. Aunt Peggy was nice, but she was old and his cousin was always with Bucky. Bucky had, to his credit, made an effort to hang out with Steve. It had been nice for all of two minutes until Sharon started whining that she missed her boyfriend. Steve just rolled his eyes and told Bucky to go be with his girl. 

Steve spent most of his holiday reading on the couch and texting Tony. They had not seen each other since the day Pepper had almost caught them and it had made Steve a little more maudlin than normal. 

He hated that his feelings were so tied to Tony but he couldn’t help he. He was truly in love, his every thought centered on the man and it hurt knowing that he couldn’t do anything to change the situation they had found themselves in. 

It was New Years Eve and Steve was looking handsome --as his aunt had said-- in his nice dark blue suit and maroon shirt. He hardly ever dressed up but for some reason, his aunt had decided that her New Year’s party had to be formal. 

Steve had not been looking forward to the party. He wanted to be home, in his own bed hiding away from the world, locked in his own sad head, where he could hate himself and wallow in the poor life choices he’d already made. But luck was never something Steve had much of and that was really how he managed to find himself sitting on a park bench a mile from where he should have been. He had lost the tie some hours ago, The Park was creepy this time of night, but Steve didn’t care. He liked the fresh air, no matter how cold it was. From his seat, he could hear the parties all around him. Songs from different genres blended together to create a mess of sounds that no ears could stand. Ruckus laughter from passersby helped drown out the not so dulcet tones and Steve smiled as the people that passed him, looked like they were having fun. Steve’s smile may not have reached his eyes but it was genuine. He was glad someone was having fun, because he sure wasn’t.

“This seat taken?” Steve started, he hadn’t known anyone was there, but the voice was warm and made Steve’s heart flutter. 

“How did you find me?” He asked as Tony took a seat. 

“I had Jarvis hack the GPS on your phone.” He said, as if it was no big deal. Steve took his phone out of his pocket, one minute to midnight, the clock told him as he turned it off. 

“Stalker,” He smiled as the people at the nearby parties started counting down the seconds till the new year. 

10...9...8

Tony moved closer to Steve on the bench.

5...4...3

Tony pulled Steve’s face to the side, blue eyes met brown. 

2...1.

Tony’s lips were on Steve’s kissing him, forcing his mouth open, slipping his tongue inside. The kiss was slow and sweet and as soon as it, started Tony was pulling away. There was no one around to watch them under the dark cover of the tree but neither of them would willingly risk it. 

“I love you,” Steve said pulling back to watch Tony’s expression. Tony just smiled. 

“I love you too.” God help him he did. He hated to admit it to himself how head over heels for the man next to him he truly was but he was.


	8. Words Said in Anger

“So...” Bruce cleared his throat causing Tony to look up from his paperwork. It was one of the rare occasions that Tony was actually in his office and not at the desk in his classroom. It was easier to stay away from Steve if he was in his office. The room was small and cluttered, mostly filled with taken apart tech and random math equations written on every surface. 

 

“So?” Tony said eyeing Bruce with a look of worry. Bruce never came to Tony unless he had something to say. Theirs was a strange friendship. They understood each other and got along but never went out of their way to hang out unless they were working on something. Bruce lived a very solitary life, Natasha had been the only person he was willing to share his space with for longer than a few hours and that was okay with Tony. He liked his personal space too. He kept to himself most of the time. The world painted him as a partier and a playboy, and he had willingly adopted that persona to alleviate the masses but it wasn’t him. In recent months he had found he enjoyed the quiet of his home, the silence broken only by the sounds of pencils on paper. 

 

Steve had taken to hanging out in Tony’s workshop in the basement of his house whenever Tony got in one of his “I need to make things and break things moods”. It was easy and calming to have someone around. Tony finally understood why people made commitments to one person for the rest of their lives. Tony wasn’t ready to do that per say, but he could understand it.

 

“Prom is coming up,” Bruce said, placing his glasses firmly on his nose. The look was shocking, Tony had seen him do it before, but it had never really struck him as effective. Bruce in one movement made himself look 10 years older and a million times wiser. 

 

So?” Tony asked again, trying to give the appearance that he wasn’t sure where the conversation was going.

 

“So...I heard you are going to be one of the chaperones.” Tony sighed and put his pen down, abandoning the papers he was grading, he gave Bruce his full attention. 

 

“Yeah, Nick roped Clint and Thor into it too.” It wasn’t totally true, but Tony wasn’t about to admit that he may have more or less not put up a fight when Fury asked him to chaperone.

 

“Yeah I heard. I’m shocked that you didn’t put up a fight. You know he would have let you out of it. He always does.” Of course, he would know, Bruce was all-knowing when it came to Tony. It was a bit freaky, but the guy took Tony’s secrets to the grave so it was ok.

 

“I put up a fight,” Tony said, the need to defend himself was strong. “Fury must just be tired of my shit. I’ve gotten out of Prom duties every year, Nick finally dug his heels in.” 

 

“No, I don’t think that’s what happened at all. I think, you’re going because you want to keep an eye on someone.” Tony scoffed and went back to grading. Trying not to let everything show on his face. Tony was a great poker player, but when it came to Bruce, that guy saw through everything.

 

“I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about.” 

 

“A blond someone who is going to the prom with his ex...” That made Tony lookup. Steve was going with Remy to the Prom, they had bought their tickets separate but Tony knew Steve was going with the guy. Steve had made sure Tony was ok with it, which of course he was; he had no reason not to be okay with it.

 

“What are you talking about, Steve’s never had....” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Bruce had known about Steve, but Tony had never given him an affirmation on the topic until then.

 

Tony wasn’t listening to Bruce anymore, he was too busy packing up his things. Steve had told him that he had never had a boyfriend, never had a relationship. Bruce was telling him different. He really didn’t want to know how Bruce knew about Steve and Remy, because neither of them were out of the closet, but he wanted... needed to know what Bruce meant by Steve’s ex. He needed to hear the story from Steve. 

**

The months after the kiss in the park were good for Steve. He still hated not being able to tell the world about Tony, but somehow Tony and he had made it work. They had found a sort of comfort in sneaking around. They had also found comfort in each other’s company. They had found that it wasn’t just the sex that made them good. They worked well together, it was peaceful and simple. Tony was a whirlwind of manic ideas and words spoken before thoughts had fully formed, but Steve found he could understand him. 

 

Steve was sitting at his desk waiting for class to start when Tony came in. He could tell something was wrong. There was a glint in Tony’s eyes that told him the genius was angry about something and the glare he levelled Steve with told him that it was because of Steve. 

 

“Oh shit! Rogers, what did you do to make him so mad?” Remy leaned over and whispered in Steve’s ear, Tony’s eyes flashed. Steve could almost feel daggers piercing his skin. He didn’t know how to answer, he couldn’t for the life of him think of anything. Unless someone had found out about them, but no that couldn’t be. They had been so careful and in any case, Tony wouldn’t be in class teaching if they had found out. 

 

“Sit the fuck down and shut up.” Tony snapped at the class as the bell rang. Everyone in the class did as they were told. Tony wasn’t often rude or mean to his class, he may be crass and march to the beat of his own teacher drum but even Steve had never seen Tony treat his class the way he was. Something had angered the man. 

“Books, paper and writing implement out.” Tony said dimming the lights and turning on the projector. “Turn to page 394 in Discovering Physics.” Remy leaned forward to ask Steve a question. 

 

“Lebeau,” Tony snapped before any words could leave Remy’s mouth, “You will either trade seats with Wanda,” who was on the other side of the room, “Or you will be in detention until you graduate.” Remy and Wanda traded seats. “That will be your seat for the rest of the year.” Steve’s eyebrows knitted together. What had gotten into Tony?

 

The rest of the class was silent, time passing as slowly as was humanly possible. No one spoke, the notes were on the board for the students to copy and Tony lectured. The anger only flaring when he would look at Steve. The bell rang and the class filed out as fast as they could. 

 

“Go on Remy, I’ll meet up with you in a bit, I have some questions about the notes I need to talk to Stark about.” Remy sighed.

 

“Your funeral.” But he followed Wanda out. Steve didn’t say anything till the classroom was empty. 

 

“So how was your day?” Steve asked, not moving from his seat. 

 

“Go away Rogers, I’m busy.” 

 

“Tony what’s wrong?” Steve asked, Tony hadn’t called him Rogers or spoken to him with such contempt since before his mother had passed away almost seven months ago. 

 

“What's wrong! Are you kidding? Nothing is wrong. Whatever could be wrong,” Tony’s voice was low but the growl of anger was evident. “Bruce just informed me that my boyfriend, was taking his ex to prom. Only said boyfriend had repeatedly told me he has no exes. I don’t know why that would make me angry, do you?” 

 

Steve didn’t move, whatever he had expected Tony to say, it hadn’t been that. He knew eventually he would have to tell Tony about him and Remy, explain the nature of their friendship at least. He had forgotten Bruce had walked in on them in an unflattering position.

 

“I told you I had been with someone. The very first day, I told you I had had someone.”

 

‘You said it was just sex! That he was too into someone else and you weren’t looking for a relationship. You also didn’t mention a name. You lied Steve.”

 

“I omitted a few things,” Steve amended. But it was splitting hairs and he knew it. Tony knew it too. “And it was just sex.”

 

“It’s still a lie. How do you think this makes me feel Steve! I have to go to this stupid prom and watch you and Remy together. I know its not like that anymore with him, I can see the way he feels about Logan, which is just...well Logan will figure it out eventually I’m sure. That’s not the point though. I have to go to this prom thing and watch my boyfriend be with another guy, one that he’s been with before.”

 

“You told me you would come out, when you had a guy you felt like telling the world about. But I can’t be that guy Steve. I’m not that guy.”

 

“That’s not why I’m going with Remy!” Steve shouted, Tony’s words hit him hard. Steve didn’t want to be locked away, a secret kept until the end of time. He didn’t want to be ashamed or made to feel ashamed of what they had, and in one sentence Tony had done just that.

 

“Remy wants to come out, and he asked me if I’d do it with him. He just needs someone to stand next to him when everyone finds out. I’m helping a friend out and stepping out of the shadows for him.” Steve sighed. 

 

“I would walk out that door right now and tell anyone that would listen that I was in love with a man name Tony Stark. He’s frustrating and brilliant, he’s stupid and sexy and he’s an asshole, but it doesn’t matter, because he’s a really good guy and he loves me too. I would tell them that I’m the luckiest guy in the world because Tony Stark is mine and no one else can have him. But I can’t. I can’t do that Tony, and I hate it! I fucking hate it so much.” Steve left after that. He didn’t even bother hearing what Tony said. He was so angry and he just needed time. 

 

He’d never really told Tony any of that. Tony had known that Steve didn’t like hiding but he had never bothered to elaborate on his feelings on the topic. He should have told Tony about Remy. That was his bad call and he was paying for it. It just wasn’t something he liked talking about. Steve and Remy hadn’t been anything to each other, other than a release. They had only been together a handful of times and had broken it off before the beginning of senior year because of how Remy felt about Logan. 

 

Steve did not want to come out with Remy, but Remy asked for his help and Steve had agreed. At least he would be able to stop hiding from something. Even if it wasn’t everything, it was something. Steve’s trip home was calming, he had left his car in the parking lot at school opting for a run instead and when he arrived home, he was shocked to see Tony waiting for him inside.

 

Steve slowed his pace as he walked up his driveway, Tony's car had been parked a block away. He knew what he needed to do to before he reached the front door. 

 

“I’m sorry,” He said as Tony stood to say something. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Remy and me. I’m sorry you had to hear it from Dr. Banner. I had forgotten he knew.” Tony’s eyebrows rose and Steve knew what was coming. 

 

“I’m not going into detail, but Dr. Banner busted Remy and I one time and that’s all you need to know. Remy and I have been over since the summer, there is nothing there.” Tony nodded.

 

“I get it, I shouldn’t have gotten mad. Bruce just took me by surprise and I hate being caught off guard.” Steve stepped forward, closing the distance between him and Tony. 

 

“You look like you have something else to say.” He resisted the urge to run his hands down Tony’s chest. 

 

“I wish I could tell the world about you, you know that right?” Steve nodded, he did know that. They both wanted nothing more than to be able to tell everyone. “But we can’t Steve, what’s between us is perfect and I’m happy. I don’t want that to change. So if that means seeing you with Remy, I will just have to deal.” 

 

“I’m not with Remy, I’m going to prom with him, that’s it. What would you rather me do? Ask Wanda?”

 

“Yes.” Steve laughed and shook his head. 

 

“That’s not happening.” He said wrapping his arms around Tony. “Are we good?” Steve asked holding his boyfriend tighter. Tony nodded and Steve smiled again. “Good.”


	9. Prom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a small amount of violent and homophobic language. Its not a lot but I wanted to give you all a warning.

“Prom sucks!” Logan growled watching Jean and Scott dance. Steve sat next to him, messing with his tie. He hadn’t really been around Logan since being punched in the face. It wasn’t a memory he was fond of and he wasn’t about to apologize for calling Jean a bitch. The truth was the truth no matter how painful. Jean had been playing with Logan and Scott for years and unless Logan gave up, he would continue getting hurt. Jean was with Scott and there wasn’t anything that would ever change that. Emma, Logan’s date sat next to them in a pretty silver dress glaring in the same direction as Logan. 

 

“There you are.” Steve looked up at Remy and smiled. Remy was very handsome in a black suit and grey shirt, his tie was white. They didn’t match but their colors were the same. Steve wore a gray suit, white shirt and black tie. He hated it; he wanted his jeans and tee shirts. 

 

“Were you looking for me?” 

 

“I was kind of hoping I’d get to dance with my date.” Steve groaned. He didn’t dance, well not very well anyway. But Remy had grabbed his hand and pulled him from his seat. 

 

“Date?” Logan asked Emma as Remy dragged Steve away. “Did he say date?” 

 

 

**

 

The last song ended and Tony sighed in relief. The night was coming to an end and nothing too bad had happened. Steve and Remy had come out but nothing had been said. Tony hadn’t been able to get near Steve, which in all honesty was a good thing. He wasn’t in a stable frame of mind after seeing Steve trotted around the dance floor. Tony was a jealous person; he didn’t try to hide that fact. 

 

“Damn!” Thor said standing next to him. 

 

“Well that wasn’t what I was expecting.” Clint said. Tony looked up from the table he had been cleaning up and suddenly felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. He was pretty far away from the dance floor but Tony knew what Clint and Thor were talking about. Remy had Steve pressed tight against him in a kiss that made the entire dance floor go still. From the distance Tony couldn’t tell if Steve was a willing participant or not but it didn’t change anything. Tony fled, he could not be in the same room with Steve and Remy and all those other people and not come unhinged. He didn't care at the point what his friends thought of his reaction. 

 

Steve pulled away from Remy a look of shock on his face. He couldn’t get mad, not there in front of everyone. He grabbed Remy’s hand and dragged him off the dance floor, a few cat calls rang out after them. Steve didn’t stop walking or let go of Remy until they were a safe distance down the hall, Tony’s classroom was closest to the gym and Steve threw Remy in and shut the door.

 

Tony stood in the hallways watching as the two boys went into his classroom. The door was shut but it hadn’t latched and Tony could hear the two talking, well Steve was shouting.

 

“What the fuck Remy!” Steve asked anger in his voice. He hadn’t seen Tony but he was sure Tony had seen them. 

 

“What?” 

 

“You can’t just kiss me like that! Remy, Jesus Christ, did you not think about what that would do to me? We aren’t a couple.”

 

“I know that, I just...”

 

“Wanted to make Logan jealous. That all you’ve ever wanted, and be damned about everyone else.”

 

“I don’t understand why you’re so angry Steve. The kiss meant nothing.” Of course Remy wouldn’t understand, it’s not like he would have any idea that he was kissing another man’s boyfriend. 

 

“I wasn’t ready to come out okay! I did it for you, so that you would have someone to stand next to, and you threw it in my face. You threw it in everyone’s face.” Steve ran his hands through his hair, he was frustrated and angry and Remy was the one on the receiving end. 

 

“I didn’t mean...” 

 

“I know you didn’t Remy,” the anger deflated a little. “I’m just so sick of this game. I’m not a pawn to be played in your fight for Logan. Everyone in this fucking school is trying to make someone jealous. Scott and Jean, Logan and Emma...You! You’re all fighting over the same people and I hate it. I’m always cleaning up the messes, and I did it, willingly until today. Logan has no chance with Jean, Emma is living a pipe dream if she thinks Scott will give up Jean for her and you! You’re the worst. Expecting Logan to decide he’s into guys, you have no chance with him Remy.” Steve’s words were harsh and the pain of them was clear on Remy’s face. 

 

“You don’t know that!” Remy said moving to the door. 

 

“You’re right, I don’t.” Remy was out the door before Steve could stop him. 

 

“Oh Mr. Stark, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Steve froze.

 

Tony hadn’t expected the door to open, “It’s no problem LeBeau. Heading home?” Remy nodded looked back at Steve. 

 

“Good, I think you have done enough damage for one night.” Tony was angry, he wasn’t even going to hide. Turning away from Remy, Tony looked at Steve. 

 

“What do you want Stark,” Steve’s voice was hard and bitter. Tony internally cheered; at least Steve was angry enough to keep up the facade. 

 

“Considering this is my classroom, I should be asking you that question, Rogers.” 

 

“Layoff Stark, he’s having a bad night.” Remy said.

 

“So I’ve seen.” Steve eyes locked onto Tony’s a glint of fear in them. “Relax Lebeau; I’m not going to give Rogers a hard time. Coming out isn’t easy.” Remy scoffed. 

 

“What would you know about it Mr. Stark?” 

 

“More than you would think. Go home Remy, you’ve caused enough problems for the night.” Tony closed the door shutting Remy out. 

 

“Tony...” Steve started but was stopped by a hand being held up. 

 

“I’m angry Steve, Oh my god am I angry, but it’s not your fault. I heard you and Remy, I’m pretty sure the whole school did.”

 

“I shouldn’t have done this! I should have never let him drag me into this.” 

 

“It’s okay Steve, really. It’s over and done with, you can’t change it.”

 

“Why are you being so understanding? I know you saw that kiss.” 

 

“Yeah and I heard you tear Remy a new one for it. I know you didn’t plan it, or enjoy it. I’m angry because another guy had his tongue in your mouth. I'm angry that it was against your will. I'm angry that Remy thought what he was doing was okay. But Steve, none of that is your fault."

 

"I wish I agreed with you." Steve said leaving Tony alone in the classroom. Tony didn't follow Steve and Steve was glad. He needed time on his own, he needed to deal with what happened in his own way. 

 

He didn't agree with Tony. It was all his fault. By going with Remy, by allowing the kiss to happen and not ending it before it went too far, by giving in to the act and kissing back. He'd cheated on Tony, even if Tony was gracious enough not to see it that way. 

 

"Hey Rogers," a hand grabbed Steve and pulled him into the bathroom. 

 

"Always knew something was off about you. That little stunt you and your fag boy friend pulled isn't okay. I think I need to teach you a lesson." The bathroom was dark and Steve couldn't pinpoint the voice. The punch to the gut wasn't a shock, he'd expected it from the moment he got pulled into the bathroom. 

 

Steve wasn't about to give up and let himself be taken down. He'd experienced this before but this time he was ready. The blow came and Steve blocked it. The bathroom door smashed open breaking Steve from his concentration and earning himself a blow to the face. He felt his lip slam against his teeth and tasted blood. He hadn't expected anyone to come in, he had been pretty sure the school was empty.

 

Logan levelled a kick at Steve's attacker and had the man going down. Steve didn't know the guy and he wasn’t given a chance to find out who he was. Logan was dragging him out of the bathroom. 

 

The school was almost deserted, prom had ended and the clean up was going on so they could get out without being spotted. Pulling free of Logan, Steve moved away. 

 

“I could have taken him Logan.” 

 

“Doesn’t mean you should have to.” Steve grunted and walked faster. Remy had left and he could hardly catch a ride with Tony so had a long walk ahead of him. 

 

“Steve wait,” Logan called catching up to him. 

 

“What do you want Logan, I’m having a really bad night. I don’t think I can handle anymore crap. It you want to rag on me for the stunt at prom, I really don’t want to hear it.” 

 

“I’m not going to rag on you Steve, I think what you and Remy did was really brave. It can’t have been easy to tell everyone that you two were together.”

 

“We aren’t together. It was just for the dance, I never should have done it.” 

 

“I’m confused, that kiss told a different story. Are you...” 

 

“Yes, Logan I am gay and so is Remy. But we aren’t together. I wasn’t expecting Remy to...” Steve sighed, “Why do you care Logan?” Steve stopped walking. He was in a really bad mood, had no patience for Logan and while he was grateful for the rescue he wanted to be left alone. The look on Logan’s face, the confusion in his eyes told Steve everything he needed to know. 

 

“Go talk to Remy Logan; It’s not me you need to have this conversation with.”

 

When Steve got home, he discarded his suit and crawled into bed. He felt like the weight of the world had been planted on his shoulders, and he didn’t want that responsibility. Steve didn’t feel like he could handle everything the world was throwing at him anymore. One person could only handle so much and for once, he really just wanted to be left alone. 

 

He never should have let Remy talk him into coming out. He should have waited, he should have said no. He should have told Remy that he would stand by him when he came out but that he wasn’t ready. Because he wasn’t. He didn’t care who knew, but he didn’t want everyone knowing in such a public way. At least not as public as a kiss. 

 

Steve groaned and buried his head deep into his pillow. That kiss was not something he had wanted to have happen. He had never expected Remy to do that. He wasn't even sure what possessed him to believe that Steve would be ok with it. 

 

Steve and Remy had ended things early in the summer between junior and senior year because Remy was too in love with Logan. Steve had been ok with it and they had kept their friendship intact. He wasn'tt so sure their friendship was salvageable now. 

 

He just had to remind himself graduation was two weeks away and then he could forget the whole ordeal. He would go to NYU where no one but a handful of people would know him and he could finally be with Tony for real. He was really looking forward to his birthday. Even if that was a month away. Two weeks until he was done with the high school bullshit and one month until he could finally admit that his feelings for Tony and they could be together the way they both wanted. 

 

**

 

Tony sat in his workshop, drink in hand sipping away his sadness. His relationship with Steve wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right and Tony didn’t know what to do. Steve should be free to kiss someone in public. To walk down the street holding hands, to tell the world that he had someone. To be happy. 

 

Steve was anything but happy when he left prom. He hadn’t called or answered any of Tony’s texts and Tony wasn’t shocked. Steve had left him looking broken and defeated and Tony hadn’t been able to help him. 

 

Something had changed for them, Tony could feel it. He just didn’t know what it was.


	10. This isn't how it's supposed to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ends the second part of the three part story.

Steve sat on the bed, head in his hands. Tears falling from his eyes, blurring his vision. Tony stood in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, his face in a similar state. An expression of confusion marring his features.

How had life come to this? It had been so good for so long. Too good really, if Tony was being honest. He and Steve had started out so well. It had worked between them, had somehow been so easy. But now...

**

 

The last two weeks of Steve's high school career had not been the smoothest. Coming out at prom had had both good and bad side effects. Steve had suffered some unwanted name calling at the hands of some people he had considered friends. His status in the popularity food chain had slipped, but he hardly cared about that. He had even gotten into a few fights because of it. 

 

Logan was always there, an ever watchful eye. Always willing to come to Steve and Remy's rescue should they need it. Even with everything going on in the world people still found time to hate someone for something that neither concerned them nor affected them. 

 

It hadn't been all bad though. Steve had been stopped in the halls by several people, thanking him for coming out. Praising him for his bravery. Steve didn't feel brave. The thought of how he came out still made him sick. Remy and he had patched things up. It hadn't been easy. Steve had turned his phone off and refused to open the door to anyone the weekend after prom. 

 

He had cheated on Tony by kissing Remy back. He had felt trapped. He couldn't push Remy away, not on the dance floor with everyone watching. But he should have figured out a different way to stop the kiss. 

 

Remy had grabbed him the Monday after prom and begged forgiveness. He had apologized over and over. Even Logan had asked Steve to forgive Remy. Steve didn't like holding grudges and in any case, Remy had no idea that Steve was off the market. It wasn't Remy's fault that he had cheated on his boyfriend. Steve had forgiven Remy without a second though. Forgiving himself however was a different story.

 

He pulled away from Tony for a while, while he tried to understand everything that was going on in his head. It was hard to see his friends so in love with each other like Scott and Jean, Hank and Jan. It painful explaining to everyone that he and Remy weren't an item. 

 

He had worked out his issues and talked to Tony about the ones he could explain. Tony had seemed understanding. He hadn't tried pushing Steve, not since the first night after prom. 

 

Steve had woken with a fat lip and black eye and about a million texts and missed calls from Tony. Steve hadn't returned a single one. He had waited to talk to Tony for almost a week. The class he had with Tony had seemed to drag the week that he avoided the man he loved. He had kept his head down, never met his eyes in class and never offered anything other than the assignments.

 

They relationship had taken a hit that night and Steve had been unsure how to fix it. Tony was understanding though and Steve was happy he had him.

 

Graduation had gone off without a hitch, Steve and his friends; Remy, Logan, Emma, Sam, Hank, Piotr, Scott, Jean and Wanda had all been handed their fake rolled up paper diplomas and told the real ones would come in the mail. They had all changed the tassel from one side of the mortar board to the other and they had all thrown their hats as high into the sky as was humanly possible when told to. 

Steve was officially done with high school and he was so happy. His friends were going off in all different directions. Jean and Scott had had to put their plans on hold due to an unexpected gift, turned out; Scott didn’t pay too much attention in health class and hadn’t remembered how babies were made. Steve felt bad for the couple but it was a passing feeling. 

Hank was off to MIT thanks to his brains, Tony, and Dr. Banner’s recommendations. Logan and Remy who had a real heart to heart, were both headed out west to California for college. Steve wasn’t totally sure about the nature of their relationship, he and Remy hadn’t fully patched things up. Eventually he would be able to explain things but until then, he and Remy stayed a good arms length away from each other. 

Emma was off to some college in the Pacific Northwest, Sam had decided he wanted to be a pilot so he was doing flight school and Piotr and Wanda were staying in Boston and going to the local schools. Their little band of friends were breaking up and while that made Steve sad, he was happy to be starting a new chapter. He would be in New York with his aunt, cousin and best friend. He was going to miss Tony but he was hoping they would be able to see each other on the weekends. It was only about a four-hour drive give or take traffic. He hadn’t really talked to Tony about it, but they would figure it out, Steve was sure. 

His friends started leaving right after graduation, Remy and Logan being the first two to leave. Remy had found Steve at the foot of a park bench drawing and talking to Tony. He was no longer a student at the school, he was free to be friends with Tony, he just couldn’t be in a relationship. It had caused Remy to falter though, knowing the last encounter he and Steve had had with the teacher. Steve could understand Remy’s hesitation. If anyone asked, and Remy of course did, Steve informed them that he and Tony had started a tentative friendship after the incident at the prom. It was a good cover and got Remy to stop asking. Neither of them wanted to relive that night. Remy had hugged Steve and kissed him on the cheek and that was that. Logan had waved from the front seat of Remy’s car and they were gone. 

Steve was the last of his friends to leave. Class started in early September and he needed to be in his dorms at the end of august. 

His birthday came and went like a shadow in the night. Not a word said, not a thought, just a day like any other. He and Tony had hit a hard patch. Steve was 18 and wanted to go out with his boyfriend but Tony was always busy, never around or unwilling. Steve had let it slide, they had gotten so used to hiding. It was just easier some days, but the days he spent with Tony were less and less and Steve knew something was wrong. 

Steve left it alone, hoping whatever was wrong would fix itself or go away, but it didn't. They still spent time together but it was different. It wasn't like spending time with a boyfriend it was just spending time with a friend. The intimacy started to slow until it was almost nonexistent. 

Steve would go to kiss Tony and he would wiggle out of the embrace. The touches, the sideways glances, all disappeared. Steve was left confused and worried and above everything hurt. He had tried to bring Tony out of whatever funk he was in, but it didn’t work and Steve had reconciled the hurt and sadness and found a deadness within himself. 

“Hey Tony?” Steve asked from the bedroom. He was leaving for New York the next morning so he was finishing the small amount of packing he had to do at Tony’s. A few of his things had been left at his boyfriend’s through the year. 

“Yeah?” Tony asked from the kitchen where he was fixing their dinner.

“Where is your bag? I want to finish packing the car.” Tony was going to go with Steve to see the campus and help him get settled. 

“Ummm...I need to talk to you about that.” Steve closed his eyes against the flood of pain. He had expected this, but it didn’t make it any less painful. “I umm... I can’t go, I have some work here that needs to be handled this weekend.” Steve just nodded. He knew Tony couldn’t see the nod but he didn’t bother acknowledging the words. He wasn’t sure he could make his voice work and instead finished packing. 

The bag was packed and left at the foot of the bed for the next morning. Dinner was silent and painful; Steve’s heart hurt because he knew what was coming. He just didn’t know which one of them was going to drive that final nail into their relationship. 

“What’s wrong?” Tony asked after he finished cleaning the dishes, Steve was sitting on the couch drawing. Steve just stared at him, his blue eyes round and sad. Tony knew he had been acting odd the last few weeks. He’d been preoccupied with a few things with Stark, Obie had been double dealing under the table and Tony was needed to take over the company and he wasn’t sure how he could be with Steve and run Stark industries so he had been pulling away.

“You’re kidding right?” Steve said, a flash of anger crossed his featured before his face shut down. “Nothing is wrong Tony, nothing at all.” Steve went back to his drawing and Tony turned to leave the room, the snap of the pencil stopped him. Steve’s face was blank but the state of the shattered pencil and the torn page in the sketch book told a different story. 

“I don’t like being lied to Tony and I hate being made to look like a fool.” Steve said standing to his full height. He had always been taller than Tony but it was only in his anger that Tony understood how significant three inches could be. 

“I didn’t... I wasn’t...” 

“Why won’t you come with me tomorrow?” Steve asked as if it were the simplest question in the world. 

It wasn’t.

Tony wanted to go so bad, he really did. He wanted the world to know about Steve, but he couldn’t do it. He was scared of what could happen with the media and Obie and how Steve would react to everything. It was easier to push Steve away. 

“I told you, I have some things to do. The new year starts soon and I have to set up my classroom and...”

“You are a liar Tony Stark. You are a coward and a liar. Why won’t you just tell me the truth! Why are you so unwilling to admit our relationship? I want you to come with me to New York, I want you to meet Bucky and Sharon as my boyfriend not my dickhead teacher. I want you.”

“What do you want me to say Steve?” Tony shouted. “I can’t do this! I can’t keep this up.” Tony said more to himself than to Steve. 

“You should have figured that out before we started this.” Steve yelled. “If I’d known you wanted to keep me hidden away, pretend we were friends and nothing more, I would have never... I won’t be hidden away, not anymore.” 

“I don’t want to keep you hidden away.” Tony said. It was the truth, he didn’t want to keep Steve hidden, Steve didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve any of it. “How about we go to bed and we talk more tomorrow before you leave?” 

“Okay,” Steve said, his voice empty. They crawled under the covers Steve pulling Tony tight against him. Tony loved having Steve pressed against him. Tears leaked silently from Tony’s eyes soaking the pillow under his cheek. He listened as Steve’s breath evened out and let the flood of emotions break. 

The alarm rang bright and early waking Steve from a restless night. Tony wasn’t in the bed and Steve’s heart dropped. 

“Hey,” Tony said handing him a cup of coffee. 

“Hey,” Steve said startled. 

“Thought you could use some caffeine.” Steve nodded taking a sip. His eyes felt like sandpaper and he wasn’t excited about what he was about to do. 

“Is your anonymity really that important?” he asked Tony making the brunette pause.

“What?” Steve knew Tony heard him and understood.

“Is it really so important that you would have me hidden away for the rest of my life?” Tony looked down at the carpet, but said nothing. 

**

Tony looked at the man that sat on his bed and felt his heart die. His anonymity wasn’t that important, but Steve’s was. Why couldn’t he just say that. Why couldn’t he tell Steve that he was doing this to keep him safe? To keep him away from what was happening with his company and with his life. All Tony wanted to do was keep Steve safe. Tony had cried so much the last few days, he was shocked to feel the tears on his cheek; he half expected the well to be dry. 

Steve stood from the bed abruptly, his eyes were dry now, the tracks the tears had left evaporating, his features a mask of hardness and determination. The movement startled Tony and he looked up, meeting the blue eyes. 

The keys were out of Steve’s pocket before Tony could register the act and the key to his house dropped on the floor. Steve grabbed his bag looked Tony in the eyes and walked out. The front door slammed shut and Tony fell to the floor sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not kill me!


	11. Words of Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 of the story starts now. I know many of you want to kill me, i'm sad to say the desire to murder me wont be going away for a few chapters. It may even get stronger.

Ch 11

 

Tony’s life was a mess, he had lost the best thing he had and there was nothing he could do. Steve wasn’t coming back. The for sale sign in the yard of his mother’s house was enough to cement that belief. 

 

Tony didn’t have a direction anymore. He felt lost. Drowning his sorrow in a sea of distilled liquid always sounded like a great idea until he woke up the next morning, in the bed he and Steve had shared. He hadn’t even bothered to change the sheets. Tony clung to the pillow Steve used at nights when he would sleep over, slept on Steve’s side of the bed and refused to move from that spot most days. 

 

He did go into Shield the day Steve left, but he didn’t stay long. Just long enough to hand in his resignation and clean out his office. He had no desire to stay in a job that physically pained him. The idea of standing in front of a class full of old and new faces and knowing that the one face he wanted to see more that anything wouldn’t be there, hurt. He didn’t need to work, he had more than enough money to survive five lifetimes without working.For the first time in his life, he was ok with doing nothing. 

 

He had watched from afar while Stark Industries was run. He didn't like what was happening, he wasn't the heartless bastard the tabloids made him out to be. He knew he needed to do something to stop Obie he didn’t know what. Instead, he did nothing. He let the issues that had come to his attention, the things that could put him and Steve in danger, continue. 

 

He talked to no one the rest of the summer, though both Clint and Thor had shown up at his house after they had found out about him quitting. He had refused them entry; they had come back every day until school had started. They were persistent, Tony would give them that. However, out stuborning Tony Stark wasn't an easy thing to achieve. Only one person had ever gone up against Tony in a stubborn mood an won, and that one person was the reason Tony was in the emotional state he was. 

 

That wasn’t actually true. Tony was the reason he was in the emotional state he was in. If he had just explained to Steve his reasons. If he'd helped Steve see that what Tony was doing was for Steve’s safety, maybe things would have be different. But Tony hadn’t been able to find the words to explain any of it. He had let Steve leave and he had fallen apart because of it. He had paid for his mistake with his happiness. No one had ever been able to say Tony Stark was a fool, but that changed the day he let Steve walk out the door.

 

“Edward Anthony Stark!” The blankets were pulled from his body and the harsh light of day burned his eyes. Tony blinked trying to focus on the male voice that belonged to the blurry creature at the end of his bed.

 

“How did you get in here?” He asked abandoning the desire to see the man, instead buried his head in Steve’s pillow. 

 

“I hacked Jarvis.” 

 

“Why?” Tony’s voice was muffled through the pillow and he wasn’t sure Bruce heard him until the man laughed. It wasn’t a happy laugh, it was hard and mirthless and bitter. 

 

“Why, he asks. Why would I hack his AI in order to see if he was still alive...? Yes, I can see how that would be a hard thing to understand.” 

 

“It’s too early in the morning for that much sass, Banner.” 

 

“Its 3pm Stark.” Tony heard Bruce sigh and felt the bed dip. Tony turned his head to the side and saw Bruce laying on the pillow Tony typically used.

 

“I’m alive, you’ve seen me, talked to me, all that jazz. You can leave now.” Tony wasn’t sure he could handle Bruce being there. Everything that happened with Steve was playing out in his head, wanting to break free of his mouth. He didn't want to give voice to it. His own personal hell belonged on repeat for him to see, but he didn't need to put it into words. 

 

“What happened Tony?” Three little words had Tony crying like a baby. 

 

“I messed up Bruce, I messed up so bad.” 

 

“What did you do?” Bruce’s voice didn’t hold a judgement, or shame.

 

“He’s gone Bruce, I pushed him away. He wanted me to go with him to see NYU and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let him be seen by the media. I didn't want his face in the paper.”

 

“Are you ashamed of him?” 

 

“WHAT! How could you even say that?” Tony shot up in bed, pulling Steve’s pillow into his lap. 

 

“Why didn’t you want the media to know about him? If you weren’t ashamed of him, or your relationship with him, why wouldn’t you be willing to tell the world about him?” Bruce sat up too, his brown eyes meeting Tony's. There was no emotion in them.

 

Tony gaped at Bruce. Did Steve think Tony was ashamed of him? Was that why Steve had been pushing so hard to be seen in public as a couple and not just as friends? Tony felt hollow.

 

“I didn’t want the media to tear Steve apart. It’s not easy being Tony Starks girl of the week, being Tony Stark’s former student turned boyfriend would be even harder. There are things going on at SI that could put me in danger if I can't figure them out... I didn’t want Steve to be part of that.” Tony couldn't go into details with Bruce about the double dealings, about the things Obie and possibly other people, people he had trusted.

 

“Let me guess, you didn’t tell him any of that did you?” Tony buried his head in the pillow and groaned, giving Bruce the answer he didn’t actually need. 

 

“What am I going to do Bruce? I tried calling Steve, he changed his number.” 

 

“I think you need to worry about what’s going on at SI before you deal with Steve. I hardly think ignoring whatever you think would put you and Steve in danger is the right thing to do.”

 

“But... What if Steve finds someone else while I’m cleaning up SI? I don’t know if I can handle this. I don’t care about SI, I only care about Steve.”

 

“Well then, you need to believe that he cares about you just as much. I can’t see Steve jumping into another relationship very fast. After he and Remy ended, it was months before you and he got together. You need to focus on taking the danger out of your life before you can find Steve. He’s not going to take you back if he has to stay hidden away.” Tony nodded. He knew Bruce was right.

 

“Where do I even start?” Tony said talking into the pillow.

 

“By taking a shower, you stink.” 

 

“Thanks Bruce. I meant about my company.”

 

“Well... I don’t really know what’s going on with your company but I think it’s time you figure out the direction YOU want YOUR company to go in. It’s not your dad’s company anymore Tony, if you aren’t going to be a teacher, you should take over the company.” Tony grimaced, he really didn’t want to, but Bruce was right.

“Thanks Bruce,” Tony said making up his mind. 

 

**

Steve sat in the coffee shop drinking his tea and working on his homework, as much as his overly emotion brain would allow him. 

His life had taken a turn he had not expected. Of course he had expected him and Tony to have some issues when he went off to college. A long distance relationship wasn't easy, he had seen more than a few people break up because of it. He had thought he and Tony would be different. He had thought what they had had been special. He hadn't expected it to end the way it did. 

 

Life at NYU wasn't what Steve had expected and he was having a hard time adjusting. Football hadn't gone so well at first. His head hadn't been in it and he'd been benched a few times during practice. He’d never been benched before. He couldn't stop thinking about Tony and everything that had happened. He had gotten to New York and changed his cell number. Which was perhaps a bit rash. He had also called and had his house put on the market. He wasn't going back to Boston. Nothing was waiting for him back there and it only held bad memories. 

 

Being benched had been one of the driving factors of his desire to pull out of his funk. If he couldn't preform on the field he would lose the scollarship and he couldn't afford that. 

 

His roommate had been the one to help pull him from the mourning stages. 

 

It hadn’t been easy for Steve the first month at NYU, he only had Bucky and Sharon at the time and with them being a couple, he just didn’t want to be around them all that much so he kept to himself and to his room. 

 

Ben had helped with that. The big guy didn’t exactly understand what had happened but he had somehow -- with the help of his friends Sue and her brother Johnny--, get Steve back into a frame of living. It wasn’t a happy state, but it wasn’t the state of despair that he had been in. 

 

Steve went to class, trained for football, did his homework and went to sleep. That was his routine and there was nothing that changed that. He didn’t hang out with his friends outside of class, he didn’t even really classify them as friends. They were people that took up his time so that he wouldn’t have to think about Tony. 

 

Not thinking about Tony however, was impossible. He had heard that Tony quit his job and moved back to New York. The media had been abuzz over the prodigal son returning to Stark Industries. Steve tried not to care, but he wanted to know why Tony was back in New York when he had been so unwilling to come with him. It had hurt but Steve hadn’t shrunk back into himself, they had been broken up for two months when news of Tony’s life change had reached him and he threw himself into his football training. Johnny Storm had been a big help there. It had been hard at first to deal with Storm because he reminded Steve a lot of Tony but there were parts of Johnny that made him endearing and eventually those qualities won out. 

 

It had been nice to have Johnny around to help him train and eventually even being around Bucky and Sharon didn’t hurt, as much. It was more a dull throb at the back of his head that he could forget about most of the time. The only time it hurt was when he thought about it. 

 

So, he didn’t think about it. Which had been a great way to deal, until the attempt on Tony’s life had happened...


	12. Destruction

Tony lie face down on the floor, coughing and spitting blood. He couldn’t move, his chest was on fire and his legs were pinned by something large and heavy that had broken in the explosion. 

He didn’t know what had happened, one minute he was watching the news, the next second he was face down, a pain so sharp in his chest that he’d wished he’d been killed. 

**

Tony had decided that he was going to take back his company; he was done letting Pepper and Obie run SI into the ground. He had learned through some reporter, that Obie was double-dealing to terrorists and he wasn’t going to allow that to happen anymore. Gone were the days where Tony would turn a blind eye and pretend nothing was wrong. He wasn’t sure if Pepper had anything to do with the double-dealing, she was the CEO, not Obie. However, Obie held a prominent position within the company. He could do the double-dealing and not alert Pepper, he was smart enough for that, Tony was sure. 

Tony, however, was smarter. He went to Pepper about taking control back from the company. It was still his company, when he had signed it over to Mrs. Potts, he had stipulated that he was to be allowed to take over at any time. He had not expected to ever use that claus. She had agreed right away, which told Tony she wasn’t involved in the schemes. There would have been no way that she would give over control if she were. 

The company was transferred back over to Tony within two weeks and no one knew until the day after it happened. Tony had required that only he, Pepper and the girl from legal know what they had planned. He had even forbid Pepper to tell Obie, he had felt bad that she needed to lie to her husband but well, Obie was a back stabbing double dealing mass murderer so Tony’s guilt at making Pepper lie to her husband was easily abated.

The takeover went fine, other things, not so much. Shutting down the weapons department had caused their stock to take a dive. Tony had expect that though, he wasn’t sure what he was going to replace it with, he just knew he needed to get his weapons out of the hands of anyone capable of using them on people. He didn’t care if that meant terrorists or the us military. He had ordered all of his weapons tracked down and destroyed.

That had not been a fun month. He had managed to keep away from Obie for the most part and Pepper had become his personal secretary for lack of a better word, helping him figure out the company. It was not a job he had ever in his life wanted and yet he had been forced into it, in order to keep himself, Steve and everyone in the world safe. He didn’t give a damn about himself or anyone other than Steve. He was the driving force in Tony’s decisions, often times he found himself asking what Steve would do in a situation, and that was what he would do. 

A few times, he had overheard fights between Pepper and Obie, he couldn’t do anything to change that situation nor would he. He felt bad that he had caused a fracture in Pepper’s life, but it wasn’t anything he had control over. He wasn’t about to let SI be run into the ground because of double-dealing. He sure as hell wasn’t about to let US military men and women die because Obie wanted to make more money. That was not how he wanted the company run. That wasn't how the world needed to be run. He didn’t give a damn about ruining relationships if it meant keeping the roads and airspace safe for the men and women that were in other countries fighting for the American people. 

Running SI was a slightly different world then running a high school classroom. But not by much. You still had pissing contests within the departments. Each one vying for Tony’s time and attention. Each one hoping for praise, praying their designs would be the next big thing for Stark Industries. The only difference was, he wasn’t telling them what to do. They all had their own ideas. Each new department, each new person all with “brand new” ideas. 

The Stark phone had actually been a concept he liked. In the world of iPhone and Galaxies, Tony felt it was time to break the mold. He would do it with flare and style and rock every phone company to the core. 

Other ideas came and went, some more useful than others, some inane or asinine, some redundant or blatant rip offs. Those people had been fired on the spot; he would not allow people to rip off others designs. SI was not a knock off company; Tony’s company would be the leader and forward thinker in everything.

He had pulled out some of the old notes his dad had kept stored, to see if any of those ideas could be of any use and he had found one. A renewable, self-sustainable, power source known as an arc reactor. His father had designed it to be large; it would probably need to take up the entire bottom floor of a building. Back when his father had thought the idea up, a computer took up an entire wall and a hard drive weighted about the same as a Mac truck. They had long since figured out how to shrink things down and still use them for the same purpose. Tony was sure he could do it with the arc reactor.

He worked for weeks on the reactor. It was time consuming and tedious. He didn't know much about the science before learning about it in his father's books. He had after three weeks of almost no sleep and lots and lots, like insane amounts, bleed Columbia dry amounts, of coffee, Tony had finally figured out how to make the reactor and get it to work. He had even figured out how to put it in a coffee maker so that the coffee maker was portable. Tony thought this was perhaps his best idea ever. He had put the coffee maker in his SI office seven floors down. He had decided that keeping the reactor hidden until he was ready to show it off was the best idea and hiding it in a coffee maker was the most logical place, in his sleep deprived brain.

It had been a long time since he had stayed up and worked with little sleep. Steve had been a bad influence on him, making him sleep regular hours, not allowing him to have too much coffee. Three weeks of no sleep or very very little and large amounts of caffeine, Tony crashed, he crashed hard. Never even made it to his bed, he had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room of his penthouse that was attached to SI. 

It was because of his inability to make it to his bed that he found himself pinned to the floor under rubble and feeling like his chest was being spliced open a million times. It was also the reason he had survived. Whatever had exploded had been down a floor or two, his bedroom or his lab. Nothing he kept on either floor was dangerous enough to cause an explosion let alone one that would take out the top floor as well. He was pretty sure it had been an attack.

“Tony!” He could hear Pepper calling his name. She must have raced up the stairs after the explosion. He could hear the panic in her voice as she moved through the room, the crunch of debris under her feet told him she was close. 

“Tony, oh god tell me you are alright. The fire department is on their way. Tony where are you God Damnit.” Tony groaned and tried to call out but his breath was short and he couldn’t form words. Just a bunch of garbled pained sounds escaped his lips. 

“Oh my god!” Pepper said as she pushed rubble off of him. “The paramedics are on their way. I’ll tell them we need a helicopter medivac.” Pepper made to move but Tony grabbed her. He could feel himself fading and didn’t want to be alone. 

“Stay...Stay with me.” She sat down and laid his head in her lap, the blood from his head wound staining her white pencil skirt. 

 

**

Steve stood rooted to the spot in the coffee shop as he watched in horror and disbelief at what the news was reporting as an attempted assassination of Tony Stark, newly made CEO of Stark Industries. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Stark Tower, a place he had been to, was billowing smoke. The top 4 floors were destroyed and a medivac was lifting two people away. Steve hoped and prayed to whatever deity existed that Tony wasn’t one of those two people and that he was ok. 

“So I guess you heard, that jackass teacher from Shield High got blown up today.” Bucky said a slight amusement in his tone. Steve didn’t tell Bucky about him and Tony, there was no point. He and Tony had broken up and he didn’t feel like explaining to anyone the messed up relationship he’d had with a teacher. 

“Wait...You know that guy?” Johnny asked coming to stand next to Steve. 

“Yeah, he was my high school science teacher.”

“Mine too, he hated Steve. He always found a way to give Steve extra work or detention. It was ridiculous. A bunch of the guys used to think it was because he had a crush on Steve. Lord knows Steve had a crush on him.” Bucky said nudging Steve in the ribs and making his ears go slightly pink.

“Oh please, Stark was an asshole to everyone. I was just the one that got hit the most with his crap because I didn’t run away from him like a scared puppy.” Steve said trying to ignore the way both Bucky and Johnny were looking at him. Talking about Tony hurt, bad mouthing him to keep up appearances hurt worse. He didn't hate Tony. He wished he did, but he didn't. Steve was still very much in love with the man. Talking bad about him was something he had never liked doing. It hurt even worse after the break up, but knowing Tony was in danger, it really didn't feel right putting him down.

“Yeah and you thought he was hot.” Bucky said walking away from the TV and the horrific scene. Johnny laughed, clapped Steve on the back and followed Bucky back to their seat. Steve grabbed the coffee he had ordered but didn’t move again. 

A bald man was on TV, as a representative of Stark Industries. “It has been a tragic day for Stark Industries, I cannot comment as to the condition of Mr. Stark, but I can assure you we are doing everything to make sure he gets taken care of.” Steve didn’t know why, but he didn’t like the guy. 

Nothing else was said on the situation at Stark Tower and it took Steve a few days to gather up the courage to take the train and go see for himself. 

He had been amazed to see the tower lively, people hurrying in and out not paying attention to a young college student. All he could do was stare at the wrecked floors that towered above everyone and remember that night, the day before Christmas that he had surprised Tony. Steve couldn’t help the small sad smile. 

He and Tony had had a really good relationship considering how they had started and what was at stake. They had somehow overcome all of that and yet, Steve still didn’t know what had ended them. Why Tony had wanted to keep him hidden away. 

Maybe he had know that he was in danger, that someone was trying to kill him. Maybe that was a crock of shit, how could Tony possibly know that someone would try to kill him? Why had he taken over SI? He had told Steve many times that that was his father’s company, not his and he didn’t want anything to do with it. So why? All these questions swirled in Steve’s head and he could do nothing but wonder. He had no way of ever knowing, he would never get the chance to ask Tony and that bothered Steve. 

He hated the way they left things, but he had no way of going back in time and changing any of it. He needed to move on with his life and just hope that Tony found happiness somewhere along the way. 

Steve stayed on the street watching Stark Tower die down. He watched as the sun slipped down, the sky changing from gray to black and many colors in between. He watched as the lights went out in the tower and the doors were locked up. He stayed until the chill of the air made him leave. He decided to walk home rather than take the train back, it wasn't too far, maybe 30 blocks.


	13. It Wasn't Worth It

  
  


CH13

 

_It was_ _Saturday_ _morning;_ _Tony sat at a table in the quad at NYU grading papers from the week. Mostly ignoring the loud sounds of laughter and joy around him. It was still early in the morning, but people were up and about, getting breakfast and enjoying a cool fall morning. He had flown in from Boston the night before._

 

_He was grading papers so that he could enjoy his weekend. It had been a while since he had seen Steve and he wanted to make sure that the man had his undivided attention. He was almost finished when a football came out of nowhere and caused his papers to go flying._

 

“ _Sorry!” The blond said before noticing who sat at the table. Tony hadn’t told Steve that he was coming. He had planned on finishing up his papers, and then_ _surprise_ _his boyfriend in his dorm. He should have known Steve would already be up, the guy was always up much earlier than any other teen Tony had ever known._

 

“ _You are always messing up my papers. It’s a good thing I love you.” Tony said trying to scoop up the papers before the wind of the chill_ _October_ _air caught them and swept them away. They had come full circle, one year since the first true run in, in the parking lot and yet Tony couldn’t be happier._

 

_Steve smiled and kissed Tony on the lips, “I love you too.”_

 

__________________________________________

 

Tony woke up groaning in pain. His whole body felt like it was on fire. His throat burned, his head throbbed, his chest felt like it had been torn open and the insides were about to fall out. But the pain he was feeling in his heart, masked all of that. Steve wasn’t with him, wherever he was. Steve was gone and it had been him who caused that. He had pushed Steve away.

 

“Don’t try to move. You won’t be going anywhere.” Stane’s voice broke through the fog in Tony’s mind and he started to panic a bit.

 

Blinking, Tony tried to focus on the room he found himself in. It was bright, stark white and clean. It smelled like disinfectant.

 

“Oh god! Tony you’re awake.” Pepper’s voice and a click of heels on hard flooring, told him she had entered the room. Tony relaxed slightly having Pepper near him meant his life wasn’t in any danger from Stane.

 

“What happened?” Tony asked Pepper. His body was sore, there were tubes sticking out of bandages and his chest was wrapped tight, probably to prevent his insides from falling out. His leg was encased in a black boot.

 

He remembered the explosion and being trapped, but he wanted to know exactly what happened. What blew up, what caused it and who.

 

“We aren’t exactly sure,” Stane said. “But it’s lucky you were in the penthouse and not your lab.”

 

“The authorities think someone tried to have you killed.” One sentence reminded Tony why Steve wasn’t with him, why he had pushed the blond away. He missed Steve, missed his voice, his touch, his smell, but his life was not something Tony was willing to put in danger. “We have you in a high security area of the hospital in case someone tries again.”

 

“When can I get out of here?”

 

“It will be awhile, you took some shrapnel to the chest. They got it all out but it caused some serious damage.” Tony huffed, he had expected that answer, and still, he would leave when he felt he was able to, not when they told he was. He needed to get back to the tower. He needed Jarvis and to figure out what had happened.

 

_________________________________

 

Under cover of the dead of night, Tony slipped out of his hospital room and into a black town car. He was not going to be sitting around doing nothing.

 

“Take me to the tower, Happy.” Happy was his driver. Tony had handpicked him years ago as his bodyguard and nothing had changed. The man was fiercely loyal and devoted to Tony. In recent years, Tony hadn’t had much need for him, but after the attack on his life, he had put in the call. He had also decided that getting out of the hospital without Stane knowing, was the best choice he could make. He wasn’t sure how he knew, he just knew that Stane was involved in the attempt on his life.

 

Getting out of the hospital had not been easy and the boot on his foot had made it harder. The security around his room was more lax than he had expected given what Pepper had said, but he was thankful. There were a few close calls with the nurses stations but lucky for Tony nights were slow and the nurses made their rounds with less frequency.

 

Happy had been waiting in the shadows of the building, it hadn’t been that hard to find him and he was grateful the big man never asked questions. He just showed up and drove Tony where he was told.

 

Back at Stark Tower, Tony felt a numb disconnect. The whole of the top floor was destroyed but it was nothing compared to the state his lab was in. Jarvis, his AI wasn’t online, which didn’t really shock him, considering the damage the lab had taken. He had been shocked to find that the security on the main floors had been working, but that was good news for Tony. That meant that the hard drive was still online and maybe, it would give him an idea of what had happened. It looked like the attack had centered where Tony typically spent his days. The lab had been ransacked, from the looks of it, even after the explosion.

 

Dum-e and U were trashed and left in pieces, his workstation had papers chard and water logged from the sprinklers strewn all over, papers he had not left on the desk. But the most interesting part was small bit of something lodged in the metal of the desk that caught his attention.

 

A small serial number on a melted piece of metal. The black metal of the rocket from SI didn’t blend well with the chrome. Tony knew the minute he saw that serial number exactly what happened. It was one of the missiles he had marked to be destroyed when he shut down the weapons manufacturing part of his company. Tony knew every single serial number, he was blessed with an eidetic memory, which basically meant everything he read was committed to memory. Lucky him.

 

He moved as quickly as he could through the wreckage of the lab to the fire proof, waterproof lock box he kept hidden behind a picture of his bots. The lock box was in perfect order and Tony opened it and pulled out the hard drive that housed Jarvis and his security system. He would need the information stored on that to deal with Stane. 

 

“I knew you wouldn’t stay in the hospital. You know, sometimes you are just so predictable Tony.” Stane’s voice was low and menacing. Tony froze; the hard drive was thin, one of his own designs, no bigger than a credit card. He bent down on the pretense of pulling his booted foot free of some debris and slipped the hard drive into the boot. 

 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here Obie, I thought I made a clean escape.” Tony’s voice was casual, not wanting to let Stane know he was on to him, that he knew or could deduce everything. 

 

“I put a tail on Happy, I knew you would rabbit the second the tubes in your chest came out.” Stane moved slowly around the room, not caring about the debris, simply kicking it and disrupting the crime scene in the process.

 

“You know me so well,” Tony, said pulling on the sleeve of his jacket and activating a distress signal he had implanted in most of his clothing after he had learned of the double dealings. He had had reason to believe his and Steve’s lives were endanger. For God’s sake he had pushed Steve away because of it, he wasn’t going to take any chances. He was glad for his forethought. 

 

“Yet, you clearly don’t know me all that well, Tony.” Stane laughed as he reached Tony. “My little bomb failed to kill you the first time; I won’t be so careless a second time.” He grabbed Tony by the throat and slammed him against the wall. “This time, I’ll just have to watch the light in your eyes go out. To think, your father actually believed you would be good for the company. Killing him was a thing of beauty. Too bad your mom was there, she didn’t need to die. That was all your father’s fault and so is this.” The grip on Tony’s throat tightened and his vision started to blur.

 

“You should have stayed in Boston, taught at that piddly shit high school you love so much. You should have never gone looking at the books; it was none of your fucking business.” Stane slammed Tony’s head into the wall; Tony could feel his body losing the fight for air. “Arrogant little jackasses have no business playing with...” Happy tackled Stane to the ground and Tony slid down the wall to the floor coughing and gasping for air. 

 

“You ok boss?” Happy asked reaching Tony. 

 

“Ye..” Tony nodded unable to really speak. He glanced at Stane to find a giant piece of debris sticking out of the man’s chest. Eyes open wide; unseeing. A look of shock on his face. Tony crawled to the body of his godfather and just stared. It was over, all the danger to his life everything was over. 

 

How was he going to explain to Pepper that she was a widow? How could he tell her that he had caused all of it?

 

The crunching of broken crap made him look up and to his shock, he found not only Happy, but Pepper and some guy he had never seen before standing over him. 

 

“We’ll take it from here Mr. Stark.” The man said, but Tony was looking at Pepper. 

 

“Pep? I’m...” Tony didn’t really know what to say, sorry wasn’t really good enough for helping kill her husband.

 

“I knew he was into bad things, but I didn’t know how far in he was. When Phil contacted me...” Pepper stopped talking; the sob that broke through was enough to rip Tony’s heart out. He loved Pepper; she had always been more of a mother than his actual **mother had**. 

 

“Happy, get Tony back to the hospital, Phil, get rid of the body.” Pepper turned around and left.

 

__________________________________

 

Steve walked back to campus, it was a long, time-consuming walk but it allowed him to think. He missed Tony, that much was clear to him, but the severity of his sorrow had only just made itself known. 

 

He really wanted to talk to Tony, even just one last time. The way they had left everything, sat heavy on his heart. The dark cold streets of Manhattan, paved the way for realization. Steve wanted Tony back. He would give up the ability to be free, to show affections, if it meant he could have the man he loved back. He had been a fool to walk away from Tony over something as unimportant as public displays of affection. 

 

The fact of the matter was, Steve loved Tony and wanted to spend as much of the rest of his life with him, as he was allowed. Yes, Steve was 18 and Tony was only 26, but sometimes people got lucky and found that one person right away. Tony was that one person for Steve. 

 

Steve’s bed was a welcome sight when he arrived back at his dorm, he didn’t even bother taking his clothing off he simply landed on the bed and fell asleep. 

 

______________________________________

 

“How long has he been asleep?” The voice was far away, but familiar. 

 

“I’m not sure; he came back in the middle of the night and just...” That voice was deep, different from the first voice.

 

“Are we sure he’s still alive? Maybe we should poke him.” A third voice was added to the mix of voices in Steve’s head. 

 

“He’s still alive, look you can see his chest moving.” That was a female voice.

 

“You’re not going to poke him, Johnny. If Steve missed his classes, he had a good reason.” 

 

Steve shifted on his bed, his whole body hurt. “Oh my god my head is killing me.” He said grabbing his head with his hands and begging to all the gods that the throbbing would stop.

 

“Yeah, that sometimes happens when you sleep for 15 plus hours.” 15 hours did she say? That couldn’t be right, Steve never did that. Steve opened his eyes to find his four friends staring at him. 

 

“You look like hell Steve.” 

 

“Thanks Johnny,” Steve said dryly. 

 

“What happened to you?” Bucky asked, “Sharon and I went looking for you last night, but we couldn’t find you and you didn’t answer your phone.” 

 

“Had some things I had to figure out.” Steve sat up. His head hurt and his feet were killing him. Walking back was probably not the best idea he had ever had, but it had accomplished something he had been unable to achieve for a while. 

 

“Had some things to figure out...care to share?” Bucky asked as Steve kicked his shoes off. 

 

“Just some things, Buck. It’s not that important.”

 

“If it makes you miss class, it is.” Sharon said. 

 

“Yeah, well. I don’t really want to talk about it.” He really didn’t, he hadn’t told any of them about Tony. They knew about his broken relationship, but he had never given the guy a name and he had no intention of telling them. 

 

“Ah man, is this about that guy that has your balls in a vice grip?” Ben cuffed Johnny on the head. 

 

“Ow, hey!” Everyone looked at Johnny but Steve was the only one that laughed. 

 

“What?” Johnny asked. 

 

“Oh to lack the verbal filter like you Johnny.” Steve said still laughing. “Yes, it does have to deal with him; no I’m not talking about it. How about we get some food? I’m starving.” 

 

The walk to the coffee shop was filled with Johnny and Ben bickering as per normal, they never really got along and yet somehow managed to be best friends. Bucky and Sharon talking about some class assignment they were dreading and Steve listening happily to his friends. The coffee shop was loud and filled with people, but Steve found a bench in the back and let his friends order dinner. 

 

“God, I feel really bad for the guy, I know you said he was a jerk, but he’s got to be having the worst week of his life.” Sharon said sitting down and passing Steve a sandwich and coffee. 

 

“Who’s a jerk?” Steve said taking a long pull from his coffee. 

 

“Stark,” Bucky said. 

 

“What about him?” Steve said choking slightly on the mouth full of hot liquid.

 

“Turns out, the person responsible for blowing up Stark Tower was his godfather.” Ben said shrugging, as if a godfather trying to kill their godson wasn’t that big of a deal. 

 

“The news is saying that Stark snuck out of the hospital last night and went back to the Tower. Stane, I think the guy’s name was, had tried to kill Stark again but his bodyguard had stopped it.” The words his friends were saying were registering in his head but not making sense. Tony had snuck out of the hospital? Steve wanted to laugh, that sounded like Tony. 

 

But what was messing with Steve more than anything was that he had been at the tower last night, just like Steve. The sound around him melted into the background as the pain of that knowledge wrapped around Steve. Tony had almost been killed again and he had been there. He had been so near the man, he loved and yet that man had been completely and totally out of reach. The world was laughing at Steve in its own way, mocking him for his rash choices and pointing accusing fingers at him. What could he possibly have done, had he known Tony was up there? Could he have prevented all of this by staying with Tony? Probably not, would he have willing stood beside Tony while all of it happened? In a New York minute.

 


	14. This is What I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I can't believe its over! I hope you enjoyed the story.

Tony sat on his bed, looking at the image before him. The hologram had been reflected around his room for hours and still he couldn't wrap his mind around what he was seeing. 

 

The aftermath of Stane and the attacks on his life had sent him back to Boston for a week to recuperate and hide from the outside world. The week had flown by, all Tony could think about had been getting back to New York, getting back to his investigation. Pepper had pushed him out of New York and taken the hard drive off him at the same time. He hadn't been worried about its safety in her hands so his fight was minimal, helped along by the drugs the doctors had pushed through his system. He was back in New York though, back in his penthouse. Finally able take the time and look at the security footage. 

Stane was dead and Happy was his new personal shadow --that was very annoying--. He liked Happy, he did, but the guy was a bit too in your face. A lot had happened in the week after Stane’s death. He hadn’t expected an easy transition when he took over as CEO, but the death of one of the prominent shareholders had caused a drop in stocks the world hadn’t been sure they would bounce back from. Tony’s arc reactor was their saving grace, it was still very new, but with the global energy crisis, it was a promising bit of technology that no one else was close to having. He was thankful he had figured the tech out and hidden it away. 

 

Pepper had worked all of that out, gotten his penthouse and his lab back in mostly working order. With the arc reactor, he’d single handedly brought his company back from death, overseen the disposal of every single one of his weapons and for the most part healed from his injuries. But none of that had anything to do with what troubled him, what he was looking at. 

 

“Sir, Ms. Potts is at the door, she is requesting entry.” Tony looked at the image before him and sighed. He reached his hand out to touch the image but as Pepper entered, Steve’s face vanished. 

“You’re not even dressed!” Pepper screeched, walking into his closet.

Tony looked up at the angry red head as she walked out holding a suit. He had forgotten about the board meeting. His mind had been so preoccupied by the images of Steve at the Tower, the same night Stane had been killed, that everything had been ignored and forgotten. 

 

He had been analyzing the images, trying to see when Stane showed up, who else was in on the plans, and the explosion itself. He had not expected to come across Steve’s image. At first, he had skipped passed the picture, not expecting to see anything. It was time stamped before he had arrived at the Tower so he had written it off as not significant. And it wasn’t, not to the investigation anyway, but it was important to him. Steve had shown up at the Tower, he wasn’t sure why, but the look on Steve’s face, the tears that clung to his eyelashes told Tony something. The image both broke his heart and warmed it at the same time. Steve still cared about him. Maybe still loved him. They’d only been broken up for a few months, it felt like longer. Felt like an eternity had passed. He needed to see Steve again. Ask him why he was at the Tower. 

 

The threat to his life was gone; Stane was dead, the weapons gone. Tony had no reason not see Steve, try and work out everything that had gone wrong. He had been foolish to push Steve away. He should have known that Steve wouldn’t be willing to sit in the background and pretend to be friends. That wasn’t who he was. Steve had told Tony that he would come out when he had someone to shout to the world about. Tony had thought it was fanciful and a child’s dream at the time, but he suddenly understood it. 

 

In the aftermath that was his life, he understood what Steve had been saying. Life was so short; people could be taken from you in an instant. Living in fear, in shame and hiding away wasn’t worth it. Tony understood that now. He had an amazing man and he had let that man slip through his fingers all because he was scared. Scared of losing Steve, scared of dying, scared of doing something that would get Steve hurt. Tony had been scared and he had lost Steve anyway. He had wanted to protect the one thing he loved more than anything and in doing that, he had lost him. 

 

Pepper was still holding out the suit, tapping her high-heeled foot on the hardwood, waiting for him to take the clothing and get dressed. Tony looked up at the only person he had left in his life other than Happy and made the choice. He wasn’t going to lose Steve. He wasn’t going to let the way they ended be the end. 

“Sorry, Pep. I got something else to do,” He said jumping out of the bed and sliding into the closet. Tony wasn’t in the mood to worry about what he looked like, a dark pair of jeans and a Led Zeppelin shirt were found and that was good enough for him.

“Tony, you can’t do this. You have to be at the meeting. You're the boss, for gosh sakes. Its time you starting taking responsibility for your company.” Pepper said, following him out of the room. 

At the elevator, Tony turned to Pepper, “It’s not my company Pepper, it was my dad’s. I never wanted anything to do with it. You can have it back.” He stepped in and watched the shocked look on Pepper’s face form as the doors shut. Tony smiled to himself; he could go back to teaching and be happy. He wasn’t someone that should be running Stark industries and he never wanted to in the first place. He was fixing his life and he was happy for the first time in a while. The thought of seeing Steve made him giddy with excitement. 

 

Happy stood next to the Town Car waiting for Tony, but Tony waved him off. He would be the one driving to NYU. He was going to do this on his own. He was going to get Steve back, even if he really had to work hard for it. Steve could have moved on already, after all.

 

**

Steve stood on the grass, passing the football back to Johnny. They weren’t training, but they were having fun. They had been away the last weekend for a game and the coach had given them a day off. It had been a welcome break for Steve but not for Johnny. Steve had somehow found himself still practicing passes even on his day off. He needed new friends, was his conclusion. 

 

He wanted to be annoyed and irritated that he had been dragged out of his dorm, made to practice football, when all he wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep, but he couldn't. Johnny had showed up and dragged him out of his bed. Johnny had made it his mission to not let Steve wallow in his self pity. Every chance Johnny got he would point out some guy he thought Steve would like. He meant well, and Steve just went with it. He was pretty sure Johnny had showed up that morning because he knew what Steve had planned for his day off. Steve had been a bit mopey since he had heard the news about Tony. In the last week, the news had been very silent on the topic and it made Steve nuts. He had been crabby and rude and when he wasn’t being mean to his friends, he was sad and depressed. 

 

His friends had been saints, trying to help him through his mood swings, but the only one that could do that was Tony. He had thought about going back to the Tower to check up on Tony, at least maybe get a glance at him. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it; to go in, see if the code to the privet elevator still worked. Steve had, a few times, when his friends were busy with classes or homework, gone down and stood outside Stark Tower. He had watched the construction crew’s work overtime trying to get the living quarters of the Tower up and running. Steve had wondered a few times where Tony was staying while the Tower got fixed, but he hadn’t been able to ask. 

 

His friends didn’t let him out of their sights all that much, even with Johnny passing the football back and forth, Ben and Johnny’s sister were sitting at a table working on some advanced math equations. Bucky was nowhere to be seen, which surprised Steve honestly. Johnny and Bucky had been the ones that had attached themselves to Steve; they had been hard to get rid. 

 

It had annoyed Steve but he was thankful for their willingness to help him through the sadness he was experiencing without asking too many questions. He still hadn’t told any of them about Tony. Well, that wasn’t true. He’d told Sue, but that had been on accident and only after a few drinks. Sue had promised not to tell and it had actually been a bit of a weight off him. Someone other that Tony and Steve knew about their relationship. 

“Hey Steve! You’ll never guess who I just saw.” Bucky and Sharon both landed in the open seats next to Ben and Sue.

“Who, Bucky?” Steve said, tossing the football to back to Johnny.

“The teacher that used to hate you... Stark!” The return pass from Johnny collided with Steve’s head. He had turned at Bucky’s words and had forgotten the football was on its way back to him. “What do you suppose that guy's doing here?” Bucky asked.

“Where?” Steve asked. His heart was beating out of his chest. It was his chance to set everything right, to fix what he had made a mess of. He could tell Tony that he was ok living in the shadows, because at least then he would still have Tony. A closet with the man you loved was better than the world without him. Steve knew that now.

“Over by the admin office,” Bucky said. “Looked like he was talking to the student liaison, that dick... Do you think he’s trying to enrol? Because that guy doesn’t have enough Ph.Ds in front of his name.” Steve didn’t answer Bucky. Sue was smiling. 

 

“Go get him Steve.” Sue said, and the rest of the group looked at her. Steve started to run. The admin office was all the way across campus, Steve just prayed that Tony would still be there when Steve got there. How much time had elapsed between Bucky seeing him and Steve arriving at the office? 

 

Steve skidded to a stop outside the Administration Office. He wasn’t able to get in, there was a crowd around the door. Steve pushed his way slowly through the crowd. It took Steve a minute to find Tony in the sea of students but he recognized the unruly tuft of brown hair and hard jaw line anywhere. The students were crowding him and he was talking to the student liaison, Peter. 

“Tony!” Steve shouted, pushing his way through the clusters of students more forcefully than he was before. Tony was so close. Steve’s heart was beating out of his chest, he needed to get to Tony. “Tony,” he shouted again. Finally, Tony heard him and turned around. A smile on his face. Steve could see Tony looking around, eyes skimming the crowd, looking for the source of his name. 

“Steve?” Tony called out, over the heads of the crowd, a look of confusion on his face.

Steve forced his way through the crowd, coming to a stop behind the man he’s been searching for, and tapped him on his shoulder. Steve was worried that he wouldn’t be received welcomingly by Tony. The way things were left was not something Steve liked to think about.  
**

Tony turned around to see Steve standing in front of him. It had been so long since Tony seen Steve, the last time they had been in the same room, they had both been crying. Tony didn't think, he just did. He wrapped his arms around Steve and pulled the taller man down into a hard kiss.

 

Tony didn’t care that there was a crowd around him, he wasn’t willing to hid Steve from the world anymore. Steve wrapped his arms around Tony and pulled him in closer. It felt good to have Steve pressed against him again.

 

Tony was happy for the first time in over two months. He couldn't help but think, this was home. Steve was everything Tony wanted and he’s ever going to let him go. Everything that he had been through in his life, none of it mattered because Steve was the best thing that had ever happened to Tony.

“I missed you.” Steve said, placing his hand on Tony’s cheek.

“I love you.” Tony says, blinking tears away. “I love you so much, Steve. I’m so so sorry. For everything.” 

Steve laughed and captured Tony’s lips in another kiss, this one softer. “I’m sorry too Tony. I love you and I never want to let you go.” 

“Please don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A side story was written for this, dealing with Remy and Logan by MrsTonyStark y'all should read it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Crossing the Line](https://archiveofourown.org/works/848452) by [PrincessStark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessStark/pseuds/PrincessStark)




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